Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Nerevarine

Day 276

The travel was a bitch.  Ten retainers and a boat.  Well, we were here anyway.  I wondered what kind of reception I would get.  It had been well over a month since last I saw him.  Julan and I had parted on difficult terms.  I had no idea what would be in store, if he’d want my help at all or if he would even name me Nerevarine.
            “Huleeya, you should instruct the others to wait here,” I said as we approached the camp.  “I don’t want to intimidate anyone.”
            “Should I come with you, sera?”
            “No.  I’ll come for you. Go ahead and make camp on the beach. I don’t know how long I’ll be.”  I turned looking towards the encampment.  In the distance I saw him walking out of the Ashkhan’s yurt.  Julan paused and turned in my direction.  I froze for a second then started walking.  Julan made no move as I approached.  Standing less than a yard from him I stopped.
            “Julan, it’s good to see you.  I think you know why I’ve come.”
            “Ah,” he paused, “you want me to name you Nerevarine.”
            “Not just that….You know why I’m here.”
            “No, I don’t…Tell me,” he said, gaze unwavering.
            I stopped and looked away then turned back to him.  “Have you spoken to Shani, since she’s returned?”
            “Yes," he said coldly.  "Thank you for the letter, I think it will add the needed leverage between Duke Dren and my tribe.”
            “Our tribe,” I whispered.
            “What?” He snapped staring hard.  I wished he hadn’t heard me at all.  For a second I almost regretted my decision in coming, but it couldn’t be avoided.  I had made it all this way.  I had come so far.  We had come so far.
            “I’ve come to help,” I said simply.  “Shani has told me of your trials.” Julan turned from me and started walking toward Sinnammu’s yurt.  It seems the damaged was more extensive then I realized.  Well, after all I had left him.  He warned me that once he turned away he’d never look back.
            Julan opened the door to the Wise Woman’s yurt, “Sinnammu, may I present Annika Blue.  She wishes to be named the Ahemmusa Nerevarine.”

"You are the Ashkhan!"

 
             
“Ah, Anni.  We’ve been expecting you for quite some time.”
            “I am sorry I’ve been so delayed.  But I’m here now and willing to do what you and Julan bid.”
            “I suppose you’ve heard about the recent troubles.”
            “I was greatly saddened by Shani’s news,” I said.  I saw that Sinnammu grimaced then looked away.  I could only assume the children she lost were family.  “I am sorry for the tribes’ loss.  For your loss, Sinnammu.”
            “Forgive me Annika, but our tribe doesn’t need words of comfort.  We need deeds.  The Ahemmusa, as you well know, are stalked by hunger and blight day in and day out.  What we need is a safe haven.”
            “Shani has spoken of this.  You look to a Daedric shrine for comfort.”
            “In seasons past, when threatened, the Ahemmusa could take shelter in the ruins of Ald Daedroth.”
            Julan then stepped forth, “But now the priestess Hlireni Indavel has come and restored the Daedric Shrine, and worshippers of Shenogorath dwell there, protected by their Daedra.  And what is worse—there are Ordinators there as well.”
            “To what end?” I asked.
            “To root out the cultists, of course.  That’s why we’ve seen so many Ordinators at shrines lately, Anne.  With the coming of the Nerevarine the Temple is clamping down hard on the cultists as well as the Dissident Priests.”
            “It is of no consequence, Julan!” Sinnammu shouted.  “The tribe must be made safe.  It is your job as Ashkhan to insure this!”
            “While we lose everything our ancestors have worked for!  The land, our homes—everything! When we abandon our camp, what do you think will happen?” Julan asked rhetorically.  I could tell this had been an ongoing debate. “The Zainab will step in and take our land—either them or the Empire!”
            “Stop!” I shouted.  “Julan, I have plan.  Nobody will step in while the Ahemmusa are led to safety.”
            “And what is this plan of yours?  How do you intend to stop the Zainab, or the Empire for that matter?  What can you do?” Julan spat.
            “What little faith you have in me,” I said smirking.  “How much has been lost.” I looked through him then turned.
            “It’s not you I lack faith in, sera.  The situation is…untenable,” Julan said softly.
            “No, not entirely.  Julan, listen to me.  Outside the camp lies nine battle mages and one assassin—formally of the Morag Tong—an old friend of ours.  They are my retainers, loyal to me.  My plan is to leave them here to defend the lands, though two will accompany your people to Ald Daedroth.”
            “Anni?” Julan said then smiled.  
            “My plans are that while Julan and I are clearing out Ald Daedroth, which should be a simpler task as—.”
            Julan picked up, “As the Ordinators and Cultists are battling each other.”
            “Exactly.  Sinnammu, while Julan and I are gone, you ready the tribe for the move.  Several people, namely some of your warriors should stay behind and help my retainers.  When Julan and I return, you and my commander Huleeya—.”
            “An Argonian?” Sinnammu asked condescendingly.
            “Yes, Sinnammu, an Argonian.  Most of my retainers are non-Dumner.  I will need your support in welcoming them.    She turned from and stared at the wall of the yurt.  “Sinnammu, you set the example.”
            “Yes, Sera, I’m sorry.  It’s just…” Sinnammu stuttered.
            “Nevermind.” I said cutting her off.  I didn’t want to hear her tired excuses for an outdated hate.  “After Julan and I return, you and Huleeya will escort the tribe to the safety of Ald Daedroth.  Then Julan and I will then face Dagoth Ur.  When he’s gone and the blight with him, the Ahemmusa will be able to return.”
            “Julan, you’re going with her?” Sinnammu asked anxiously. “And if you die, then where will we be?”
            “Sinnammu, if I fail,” I said looking her dead in the eye, “and Dagoth triumphs then all is lost anyway, Ashkhan or not.”
            “Agreed,” Julan said sternly.  “Sinnammu, I know my duty. Anni,” he said turning to me, “come with me, I think we should speak further about your plan.”

Discussion of plans

            I walked slowly beside him back to his yurt. Julan opened the door for me and I walked in. Before I knew what was happening, he swept me up in his arms and kissed me hungrily.  I don’t know how it was possible that I could taste the frustration and pain in the month past, but it was there.  Clumsily we pulled off our clothes and stumbled to the ground; he grasped the amulet from around my neck and flung it across the room.  I could feel his weight upon me and deep breathing, moving together like two feral beasts amidst the fields.  
            “Anni,” he whispered afterward.   I looked at him, breathing heavily, then kissed his forehead and the tears streaming from his eyes.  I rolled over and laid there in silence, for how long I did not know.  I was the only one who could see this.  There was no other outlet. Julan was the Ashkhan to his people, a force stronger than steel, but I knew—what I always knew, was simply that he was just a man.
            We rose in the morning to the sounds of birds.  “Julan, I have to go meet with my retainers—come with me.  We’ll bring them back to camp together.  You can present them to the tribe.”  The group was on the beach.  I saw Huleeya and Noni, the Wood Elf, roasting a dead cliff racer over a fire.  “Eh, good eating, sera,” Huleeya said to me offering part of a wing.
            “Thank you, Huleeya.  You remember Julan.”
            “Good to see you, Huleeya,” Julan said taking his hand.  
            Huleeya bowed.  “I hear your name has changed to Han-Julan, Ashkhan,
            “There are many changes now, sera.  Come, I will speak to my tribe and announce your arrival.”
            “Will they welcome us?” Huleeya asked.
            “What other choice is there?”  Julan stepped into the middle of the encampment amongst an astonished tribe and spoke, “People of the Ahemmusa for many moons our tribe has suffered and our loss has been great.  Each one of has our own grief to bear. Today Azura has blessed our people and answered our prayers in the form of the Nerevarine Annika Blue.” I heard a great cheer rise from the people.  Julan continued, “These men and women Annika have brought to us are here to help the tribe defend our lands—come what may and keep our people safe while we seek shelter in Ald Daedroth.  Welcome them with open arms and show them the value of Ahemmusa hospitality.”  Immediately after Julan stopped speaking, my retainers began to circulate amongst the tribesmen and women; it was amazing how quickly old barriers fell when greeted by friendly faces. I was proud of them and knew I had chosen the right people for the job.
            “When should we go?”
            “I would say within the week.  Let my people get acclimated to the new faces and understand our plan, then we will make our move to Ald Daedroth.  It’s not going anywhere, Anni.”


Day  281

It only took four days for the tribe and retainers to become accustomed to each other, and obtain, at least to a degree, a sense of comfort in each other’s presence.  
           “I think we’re ready, Anne.” Julan said, watching the tribe.
           “I agree.  It didn’t even take a week.  I’m amazed.”  I looked over at Julan grabbing his quiver and crossbow.
            “I’ll go let Sinnammu know we’re going.”  Julan walked off towards the Wise Woman’s tent.  I know he was happy to put some space between her and himself.  So far only she had any gripe with my retainers.  Her quibbling and gotten to both of us.
            “And I’ll speak to Huleeya.”  Huleeya was busy demonstrating the fine art of making a fishing rod to a few of the elder tribes men and younger boys,  I also observed a few girls peeking from behind a yurt.  “Gentlemen,” I started, which made some of the younger boys laugh, “Julan and I preparing to leave for Ald Daedroth.”  Huyleea nodded to the group and started walking with me.
            “When will you be leaving?”
            “As soon as he finishes speaking with Sinnammu.  Do you think all is ready?”

Huleeya

            “Yes.  Do you have any doubts?”
            “Not in you, sera,” I said winking.  “The Wise Woman, yes.”
            “We know to show her only the greatest respect, even when she is not very respectful.”
            “It takes a man to suffer ignorance and smile,” I said looking over at him.  “Be yourself, no matter what she says.”
            Huleeya took my hand.  “Have a safe journey, Annika Blue.  We will be fine,” he then walked back to the group.  I approached Julan who was walking out of Sinnammu’s yurt.
            “That woman…” he muttered.   “I swear to you, Anni as gods are my witness, she will not be Wise Woman forever.  When I am in a stronger position, I will ask her to step down.”  I nodded.  He had to be careful.  Not too much change at once.  We departed the camp, and headed toward the beach.  I noticed Julan was walking towards a large outcropping of rocks, that formed a cove along the shore. “So we have a long trip ahead of us,” Julan said smirking.
            “And much to discuss,’ I said meeting his gaze.  We walked to the shore and I saw a boat moored to a ramshackle pier.  I hadn’t noticed this before.  “This is an excellent spot, Jules.  Brilliant.”
            “No needed for advertising, Anne.  As a child I would come here and pretend there I was a pirate…or the Nerevarine fighting pirates.”
            “I’m amazed.”
            “Built it myself, as well designed it.  Though had some of the tribesmen help me build it.”
            “The boat?” I asked astonished.
            “No, the pier of course,” he laughed.  “Mashti in all of her teachings forgot the fine art of shipbuilding.”
            “Well, she’s lovely, where did you get her?”
            “In Vos from Lleris.  You remember him, don't you?”
            “Yeah, we got the amulet from him.  A bit over priced.”  I wondered how much he paid for this boat.
            “Amulet was worth it, so is the ship.  Swimming and hiking to Ald Daedroth could take weeks.  There’s no chance the children in tribe could make such a trek.”
            “It’s funny though, they must have done it before as Sinnammu said it was a refuge in times past.”
            “Not in recent times.  I’m sure someone thought of this…or at least built a raft.  There’s no other way, really.  Here. Help me unfurl the sails.”
            “Sure,” I smiled.
            “So, pretty girl, it’s a day’s boat ride, provided we catch a good wind.  We have plenty of time to talk.” It’s funny though, neither of us spoke immediately.  Finally, after the small talked dried up and there was nothing left but the sound of the waves Julan finally spoke. “Why did you leave?” he asked lighting a hacklo.
            “Because I had to,” I said taking one.  “Julan, you broke me.”
            He exhaled “It was a little flirtation, Anni it went no further. Are you going to take off every time I piss you off?  Because if that’s the case—.”
            “No, Julan,” I said cutting him off.  “Look, it has to be just me.  I can deal with everything else, but it has to be just me.  That has to be enough.”
            “Okay, that's fine. But really Anne, I think there was more to it then just a nasty case of jealously.  Could you try, for just a moment, to be honest with me?”
            “Fine,” I said taking in a deep breath. “It’s always been us against the prophecies, us against the Houses and the Empire.  And in truth Jules, I’ve always felt you should have been the Nerevarine.”
            “So we’re back to this again.”
            “Yes!  Because it never went away!” I shouted,  impassioned.  “I was constantly afraid of losing you.  Because of the anger you felt—and you did feel it—and resentment when it turned out to be me.  Every Ashkhan we visited, every wise woman, every fucking Great House, I dreaded it, not because I was afraid of any of the quests or silly tasks, but I was afraid of losing you—to jealousy or to hurt feelings.  And no, it’s not over and we’re back at this again because it never stopped!  Gods, for once…”
            Julan shouted, walking quickened, “Anni, I’ve said I loved you, and everything I’ve done—.”
            “Mephala, Jules you’re not even listening!”  Moving silently across Azura’s coast;  I leaned over the rail watching the boat glide across the water. Finishing the hacklo and taking a deep breath—actually several, I spoke.   “Julan, I had to see if I could do this on my own.  I had to find meaning in becoming the Nerevarine.”
           “And we’re you successful?” he asked mockingly.  “Did you find god?”
            I turned to him.  “In a sense.  The only reason I could find in saving this gods forsaken island was its people—the Ashlanders.  I found that the only thing that mattered to me was saving the Ahemmusa, from Dagoth, the Empire, themselves… I’m not sure if that makes me the Nerevarine or some fucking savior, but that’s all I have.”
            Julan stopped steering and turned toward me, I felt the storm approaching. “Shit, Anni, that’s it?  That’s really all you have?”
            “I don’t know Jules, is it?  Because you see I’m never sure.  Every time I see a Dunmer woman looking at you I feel afraid.  And it’s because she not the bloody Nerevarine.  She just a simple girl who wants to be with you; to make a family—to be the Ashkhan’s wife.  She didn’t steal your fucking prophecy, your goddamned life’s mission!  No matter what I do, there will always be that!”  I paused for a second, feeling the rage drain out of me.  “And I was tired…so tired,” I started, then turned to him, “Falura was it, really.  She was every fear crystallized.  Every nightmare that mocked me when you held my hand…every fear.”  Julan look away from me.  I knew he wanted to ask.  
            “Let’s sit down for a moment Jules.”
            “Fine.”
            “If you must know, she living in Mournhold, or at least she was there last I checked.”
            “Shani told me that.  She also said you took her to Holamayan to be healed.  That was wise.”
            “I know that Mashti’s the best healer, but…I was afraid of what you might do if you had seen…” cringing at the memory of that first glance. “Also, I wasn’t sure if Kaushad would look for her or if Mashti was even with the tribe.”
            “No Mashti is still in the yurt.  I’m not sure what she wants, but on an interesting note, I have encountered Hassour at mother’s encampment—on several occasions.”
            “Trading again?”
            “It would appear so.  Mostly with Zainab.  He’s the one who told me that the Falura rouse has failed.  He also warned me of the gulakhan’s coming.”
            “Risky business.”
            “On your part too, Annika.  Kaushad, is out for your blood, he says if Dagoth doesn’t finish you, he will.”
            I shrugged.  “He’s the least of my concerns.  If Kaushad isn’t careful, I’ll poison his brandy.”
            “No warrior’s death for him, eh?” he laughed.
            “No.  Not after what he did to Falura.”
            “No,” he paused, “what we all did, Anni.”
            “I made amends, the best way I knew how, Julan.  It’s all I could do.  She’s well now, and excited about her new life on the mainland—as free woman.”
            He nodded and said nothing for a time, starting off in the horizon.  “I liked her a great deal Anne, but I loved you.  I’m sorry that I hurt you, and that I lost you.”
            I shrugged.  “Where do we go from here?”
            “I don’t know.” He stopped then looked to the north.  “Wait.  There it Anne,  Ald Daedroth,” he said lighting a hacklo.  Through the fog, I saw the crumbling shrine off in the distance.  “What a wonderful safe haven for my people.”
            “Yeah, I think there has to be a better spot.”
            “Question is where?” he asked, smiling bitterly.  “No, there’s nothing.  At least this place is northern enough not to encounter the blight.”

Anni v Ordinators

            “Should we head down now?  I see someone outside the shrine.”
            “Actually, Anni I see several, two of which are battling each other.  Seems to be the Ordinators against the cultists.”
            “Fantastic.  With any luck they’ll kill each other.  Spare us the effort.  Look, there’s one swaying off to the edge over there.  Maybe she’s been hit with something.”
            “Or drunk.  She could be drunk.”
            “Well let’s hope she’s a happy drunk, Jules…Just like you.”  We made our way to the edge of the Shrine and encountered Fieryra, an intoxicated Dunmer.  
            “Hey,” Fierya said swaying, “hey, I don’t know you.  Are you here for the dance?  Or are you with the gold-hats?”  I could only assume she meant the Ordinators—their helms were gold.
            “Uh, definitely not with the gold-hats, Fierya.  What’s this dance you’re talking about?  Is anyone invited or do you need an invitation of some sort?”
            “Bwah…hah ha…Oh you’re funny,” she said, landing her hand on my shoulder, partially to keep from staggering to the ground.  “Don’t you know what’s going on?  Go down and talk to Hlireni in the big room with the statue. There’s free drinks too—though just watch out for the gold-hats.  They play rough.”
            We nodded and left, then walked up to the Ordinator on the hill, not drenched in blood.              “What do you want?”
            “I’m Annika Blue and this is Julan Kaushibael.  We just wanted to see what was going on here.”
            “Are you here to worship at this foul shrine?”
            “Not exactly.”  I thought I’d be truthful about my presence—out of curiosity really.  How bad did Vivec and his Ordinators despise me?  “I am the Nerevarine on a quest to fulfill the prophecies.”
          "What?” the Ordinator shouted.  “No!  You are the False Incarnate, and the Devil of Lies!  You claim to be chosen by Azura, and the savior of Morrowind, but you curse the Tribunal, call them false gods, and turn the people against their protectors!”  Apparently word had gotten around.  The Ordinator continued shouting, “You are nothing but a Dreamer and Deceiver and a mad servant of the Devil Dagoth Ur, and you must be destroyed!”
            “Fine.  Have it your way.”  I took out the Wakizashi and cut his head off with one blow.  Wiping off the blood, I turned to Julan, “Perhaps if they trained them as well in sword play as they do in doctrine, this poor bastard would have stood a better chance.”
            “Screw him.  Let’s clear this place out, then have a drink.”  Julan looked around the ruins.  “Living in a Shrine dedicated to Sheogorath?  We’re all going mad.”
            “Who is he?” I asked.  “I’ve only heard that he is some sort of patron saint to the lunatics.”
            “Not entirely, no, Sheogorath was once a very successful Daedric Prince, Jyggalag.”
            “Jiggy leg?  Oh what a riot!  That’s what you’re always complaining about!”  Julan continually bitched about my shaking leg in our bed.  I had had that habit since I was a child.
            “I have no doubt he is your patron saint, Anni.  Anyway, Jyggalag was once the god of order and to make a long story short, because we have to get inside, Jyggalag grew in power and other gods became jealous so they cursed Jyggalag to live as Sheogorath, the incarnation of the thing he hated most.”
            “Chaos.”
            “Exactly, Anne.  Anyway, he was said to rebel against the Tribunal, thus worshiping Shenogorath is punishable by death.”
            “Thus the presence of the Ordinators.”
            “Exactly.  Anni, you’re becoming my star pupil.”
            “What’s my reward?”
            “You’ll have to wait until we’ve dealt lunatics—and then the cultists.  Just from the looks of things out here, I think this will take some time.”
            “Yeah, well I have a feeling it’s going to get worse once we get inside.”  Prediction was correct.  We were attacked by a few cultist as soon as we entered the Shrine.  They were easily put down.  “You know, Julan I thought the gold-hats were going to be our only problem.”
            “Apparently that’s not the case, Anni.  We’ll have to get rid of everyone.”

"Hey if its not you, it will just be some Ordinator."

            “Fantastic, cause I just needed more blood on my hands.”
            Julan shrugged.  “Hey, if its not you, it will just be some Ordinator….”
            Finally we entered the Antechamber, no longer were there crazed cultist attacking us.  Before Julan and I stood a crowded room of grotesquely costumed worshipers.  The room parted as we moved towards the center.  Standing in the middle of the room by the large statue was Hlireni, an older Imperial woman dressed royally in gold with wine dripping down the side of her mouth.  Grandly drunk, she spoke in an animated voice, “Well, well, well.  What do we have here?  Do you have your invitation?”
            “No,” I said bloodied and striding towards her. “The gold hats stole them.”  I stopped in front of this strange priestess and tossed an Ordinators helm at her feet.
            “Were you summoned?” Hlireni asked, slowly approaching me, carelessly kicking the helm to the side. “Or do you come of your own free will?”  She paused for a second, circling me; I didn’t bother answering, partially because I wasn’t sure of the answer myself.  She waited for me to speak then continued, “It hardly matters…the party is opened to all,” she said gesturing to a room full of staggering minions.  “But make sure you pay your respects to the host,” she said motioning to the immense statue of Shenogorath that took up the middle portion of the room.         “And grab a drink from Absynthe, over in the corner.  Then feel free to mingle with the guests, to join the dancing, chancing throng.  I believe the ones in the gold masks are party crashers, but all are welcome to the Mad God’s Masque and Bellicose Ball.”
            “Thank you for your…hospitality.”  I moved over slowly to the Nord slinging drinks and took some flin, not my favorite, but when in Ald Daedroth….
            Hlireni stood beside me grabbing another goblet of something. “So, Annika Blue…are you a Player of the Game? Or just one of the Game Pieces?”
            “Huh?” I couldn’t understand her boozy analogies or her stumbling gestures.  Maybe she made sense to herself.  I could see that Julan was getting frustrated.  We had come all this way…Suddently he approached her, moving in between us.
            “Look we’re here for my tribe; I am Julan Kaushibael, the Ashkhan of the Ahemmusa,” he spoke earnestly, “my people are dying from the ash storms, blight…and starvation. In the past we have sought shelter in the ruins of this Shrine.  ”
            Hlireni stifled a giggled then spoke. “Oh that’s so sad.  We all shed a tear for the poor little savages.” Julan went for his sword.  I stopped him.  “It’s a terrible world for the little helpless things,” she nodded condescendingly, “ah, but…life must have its little tragedies, mustn’t it?  Or else it would be cheerful and dull.”
            “Ok, we’ll try something different,” I said, pulling the glass blade I had taken from one of the dead revelers and held it to her throat; my patience growing thin, “either the Ahemmusa are allowed to come here and are left in peace or I break up your little party and you'll leave—just like the gold hats—in bits.”  The music stopped and all turned towards us.    
            Surprised, though without fear, Hlireni spoke, “Ah.  I see you propose that I permit these poor Ahemmusa tribesmen to come and take shelter here on the island, and in return, you won’t kill me.  So the game is “Challenge and Bluff.”  And, given your rather impressive reputation, I hesitate to call your bluff.  So,” Hlireni said with a resigned air, “you win.  I concede.  I can’t speak for the Ordinators, of course—.”
            “There are no more Ordinators, Hlireni,” I said as I slowly moved the blade away from her throat.  “Julan and I killed them all.  Play nicely and I won’t kill you.”
            “I promise you may bring the Ahemmusa here and my followers won’t harm the little darlings.  I swear on the Mad God.”
            “That’s not much of a promise, Hlireni.” Julan said, head cocked and hand on his hilt.
            “It’s all I have. Take it or kill me,” she said with a shrug.
            I stared at her harshly.  “No, I’ll leave that to my battle mages accompanying the tribe.  You’ve been warned Hlireni.  Just offer drinks and smile.  Your life depends on it.”   I put the blade away and moved to the corner of the room.  “Julan, I think we should stay overnight, just to see what happens.  We’ll come back in the morning and see if she means what she said.”
            “Agreed.  I want to see her sober.  Where can we go where we won’t get our throats slit?”
            “Let’s head back outside.  I’d rather be under the stars.  You know, I think I’ll send another warrior with Huleeya.”
            “And seven at the camp, yeah I think that’s a good plan.”  We headed back out under the canopy of stars.  I cracked a bottle of Matze and passed it Julan.  Fierrya passed us looking half dazed, and stumbled into the Shrine.
            “So Jules, how did you know about Hlireni and the Ordinators?”

"We all shed a little tear for the savages."

            “When Sinnammu suggested this place, I came and staked it out.  I wanted to see what was here.  When I saw all the people…I wasn’t sure what to do.”
            “You went back to Sinnammu and told her she was out of her mind.”
            “No.  First I went up the hill and slumped.  I was….I don’t know..  My first act as the Ashkhan a total loss.” He paused then turned toward me.  “You know, Anni, I was wearing that cloak you gave me; and in it I found that  letter you wrote before…”
            I nodded, remembering. “Before the battle with Venim.” I had totally forgotten about it after the duel. “You weren’t supposed to open that.”
            “But I did.  It was the only comfort that night.  Anni, I have to tell you that I dug up some of the gold you had stashed under Mashti’s storage yurt.  That’s how I got the boat.”
            “I guess we moved beyond calling it the guest yurt,” I smiled.
            “I took a great deal, Anne.  Nearly 20, 000 septims.”
             “It was for you and the Ahemmusa anyways,” I smiled.
            “Still, it was a lot.”
            I shrugged. “There’s more.”   
            “After reading that, I knew you’d be back.  I knew, somehow I hadn’t lost you completely.  And then when I returned you called for Shani.”
            “I was surprised you let her go, with all that was going on.”
            “It was for the best really.  Shani was getting restless, and I had no idea if or when Kaushad would strike.  I didn’t have the time or the resources to rescue her—not again.”
            “You know it was hard on her, Jules, but I needed help.  I didn’t want to involve Erica—she’s spent so much time rebuilding her life.  Still…I felt I exposed her to too much.  She took it all badly.”
            “Good,” he said surprisingly.  “She needed to go and see it...to see what the world is really like. Shani spews the poison she’s heard from other tribesmen and her family.  I’m happy she saw the world with her own eyes.  I know it changed me.  How naïve I was when this all started…when you found me with those Clannfears.”
            “Now you’re here.  Do you regret any of it?”
            “No.  I’m a better man.  I don’t know if I’m a better leader, or better than Sashael, but all of this has changed and formed me.  Despite my failures as Ashkhan, all of this… has made a better person”
            “Was that the only reason that you were happy I called for her?”
            He turned to me raising an eyebrow. “Quit being coy, you know it wasn’t.  Some of the other reasons were much more selfish.  I knew she’d tell me about you.”
            “You could have used the rings.”
            “No Anni,” he paused turning towards me.  “You’re the one who walked away.  I couldn’t. And I have to confess…”
            “What?  Confess what?”   
            “Well,” his eyes shifted, avoiding contact.  “As much as this pains me to admit, but a part of me wanted to see you fail.”
            I turned to him surprised. “Why?”  Why would he want to see me fail?
            He shifted suddenly.  “Because you never have.  Everything we’ve done—you’ve done, I should say—has been some kind smashing success.  I can’t pull a tribe of 200 souls together.  Anni, I wanted you to come back—to know you needed me, to pull you through this.  Instead you come back with nine battle mages, an assassin, and plan to save my tribe.”
            “Ha…well, at least you’re honest.  Competitive and selfish to the core, but honesty I can’t fault you on—never.    And for what its worth I did need you.  Hlaalu was miserable.  Jules, I look to you for sanity.”
            “Ha.  I think you find a better source.”
            “Not really.  You’re my reflection. I guess I’d want to see you get some egg on your face too.”
            “If it wasn’t already covered,” he laughed. “So you forgive me?”
            “I understand it, but that’s all I can really say.  There’s really nothing to forgive.  You are who you are.  I understand it because I am the same.  So.”  We sat watching the stars for a bit. I was getting sleepy, I put my arm across his chest and dozed to the sound of the waves hitting the shore. In the morning we tripped over revelers and costumes strewn about and made our way towards Hrleni.  Her make up was smeared and the gown was torn and stained beyond repair.  She was in a deep sleep.  “Hrleni,” I said kicking her slightly with the tip of my boot, “wake up.”
            “What…oh…Well, where are your little tribesmen and women and children?”

"Just go and get the little darlings."

            “They’ll be here soon.  I want to make sure you remember the promise you made last night.”
            “They will be safe, Annika Blue and Jude, Julie…”
            “Julan,” he grumbled.
            “Whatever….Just go and get the little darlings and let me sleep.”