Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Corpus

Bonebiter Bow

Day 75

By daybreak we neared the Urshailaku camp.  “Well Sul-Matuul’s in for a nasty shock.  I sure he thinks us dead,” I said to Julan as we reached the encampment.

“Probably…We’ll see if he keeps his word about making you Clannfriend—though wouldn’t hold your breath.”

“He seems like a man of honor.”

“I’m not saying that he isn’t; however, Anni, you are what they despise most. How you could call someone a friend—offer a bed and food—when you hated everything about them?  If, in truth, you were afraid of them?”

“I see your point.  Well, there he is now.”  I saw the Ashkhan outside his tent, staring off into the distance with a hack-lo leaf smoking in his hand.  Sul-Matuul turned to us, but did not betray any look of shock or surprise.  He was a man expert at hiding emotion.  We had that in common.

“So, Outlander.  Have you completed the initiation rite?”

“I have your father’s bow.”  Sul-Matuul’s face dropped and composure briefly left him.  I could see this was unexpected news.

“Let me see it,” he examined it closely then closed his eyes. “You have passed the initiation rite and as I am a man of honor, I declare you Clanfriend of the Urshailaku.  Now I will fulfill my other promise.  You may visit Nibani Maesa, our wise woman, at your leisure.  Please go with care and do not harm my people—they have seen enough misery.”

“You have my word, Sul-Matuul.”

“Now that you are Clanfriend, I want to speak to you plainly, Annika Blue.  I find it hard to believe that you are the Nerevarine.  You are an Outlander, but the Nerevarine comes to drive all Outlanders from Vvardenfell.  How could an Outlander be the Incarnate?” I had no answers and just shook my head.  “The Great Houses took our homes and mocked us with false gods.  The godless Outlanders then stole our lands and dignity.  The Nerevarine is the last hope the Urshailaku—nay every Ashlander—has.  I will let no one steal this hope from us.”  I remained quiet as he went on.  “These are serious words, sera, words of life and death.  I see honor and merit in you, but take care of what you say and do in the name of the Nerevarine.”

Looking at Sul-Matuul, I spoke intently. “I take your words to heart.  Thank you, Ashkhan.” I left his yurt and grabbed Julan’s hand.  “I’m not sure I can do this.  His words…I understand your anger now.  I won’t be a part of you people’s further destruction.”

“You might not have to be.  I still can’t believe he named you Clanfriend.  I am glad though—at least he is a man of his word….And Anni, you have to do this.”

“I hope to make your path easier, Jules.”  We walked in to the yurt of Nibani Maesa.  Once inside, a tall, stately woman glared at me.

“They’ve told me of you Outlander,” Nibani spoke frostily.  “I am speaking to you because I must do as my lord Ashkhan bids.  So ask your questions.”

“Tell me about Nerevarine Prophesies.”

“There are many and they suggest many things.” Nibani said vaguely.  She went on to tell me that there were many signs of the Nerevarine and though I met some of the aspects—I was not born with a moon and star mark. “So you are not the Nerevarine; though you may play a part in the coming of the Nerevarine.”  Julan’s eyes lit up at that and in truth so did mine, being relieved of the burden of prophesy. Nibani quickly added that though I was not the Nerevarine, I was the one that could become Nerevarine.

Not a meeting of the minds

“Nibani, how is that so?  How could that possibly be?  Either you are the Incarnate or you’re not.”

“It is a puzzle and a hard one.  But you have found some pieces and you may find more.  But in truth, sera, would you choose to be the Nerevarine?”

“I am not sure.” It was the most honest answer I could give.

“Well, reflect on it, and seek the lost prophesies among the Dissident priests of the Temple.  Find them and bring them back to me and I will be your guide.”

“I will do as you say,” I muttered passively.  I had gotten so used to it.

“Remember, Outlander, what you do affects us all.”  Julan and I walked out together.

“So…Nibani says you aren’t the Nerevarine.  No surprise there.  Shall we go back to adventuring now?” Julan asked enthusiastically.

“She said I wasn’t the Nerevarine, but that I might become.  Jules that is the strangest thing that I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, the way these prophecies work, anyone who fits the description could be the Incarnate in theory, but only one person will actually achieve it.  That’s how we have failed Incarnates.  Like the verse said, “many fall but one remains.”

“Maybe the lost prophesies can tell us more and help you figure out what you need to do next.”

“That’s true….and now I think about it, you pretending to be the Nerevarine might not be such a bad thing,” he said, rubbing his chin.  “It means that the Temple and everyone else will be focusing on you as the Incarnate, and assuming I am just your companion, when it’s actually the other way around! Gods Anni you’re brilliant!” he picked me up and swung me around.

“Yeah, brilliant.  I get to be your decoy!  Yay!”

“Oh don’t be like that, Anne,” he said still holding me, eyes dancing.  “We make a good team, don’t we?”  I smiled and nodded.  “This is going to be great, you’ll see!”

We started to walk off the encampment, then it came to me…Urshailaku…Mashti… “Jules, I forgot my sword.  Hold on a second.  Just wait out here for me.”

“Huh?  Okay…?”  I took off before he could ask anymore questions.  I ran back in to Nibani’s yurt.

“Nibani, I only have a few moments, but I have to ask you some questions regarding my companion, Julan.”

“Go on Outlander,” she said.

“Do you know a Mashti Kaushibael?”

She looked up at me with a surprised expression on her face.  “Annika, I have not heard that name in many years now!” Nibani actually smiled.  “She was the daughter of our previous Ashkhan, but left us to marry a man from the Ahemmusa.  Is she still among them?”  My stomach did a flip after hearing that information…

“No, she is not still with them, but…what do you mean “marry a man”?

Nibani looked at me as if I was daft.  “Exactly what I said,” she stated shaking her head. “At least that’s what she told her sister, the night she left.”

“Is her sister still around?”

“Sadly, no…she left to be with our ancestors.  Why to do you ask these question and how are they related to your companion?”

“Oh, I think he may be a relative.  I’ve not heard the name Kaushibael before, not common.” An idiotic lie, I figured I better stop as it could only get worse, “but, uh, I better get going.  Thank you, Nibani.” I turned and dashed out the door, and Julan caught me as I was running out.

“You were in there longer to get a sword.  What’s going on Anni?”

“Jules, your mother’s relatives are here.  I asked if...well…” I had to come up with something good. “I asked if your aunt was around.  I wanted to introduce the two of you…”

“Really?” He did not believe me; I can’t say I blamed—it was a terrible lie.  “Let’s be honest for a moment Anni, shall we?  You don’t believe my mother…Do you?”

“Why do you always think the worst of my intentions?” Probably because he knew me too well.  “Why do you always think I’m lying?”

“Because your mouth is moving,” he said.  I could tell he was getting defensive, but if Mashti was covering something…well he’d have to know.

“Nibani told me your mother left the Urshailaku to marry a man from the Ahemmusa…” I said as plainly as possibly.

“Why do you think the worst of my mother?  Gods, don’t be ridiculous.  Mother’s never been married,” he said shaking his head.  “I told you—people tell all kinds of lies about her.  You shouldn’t listen.”

“I’m sorry, Jules,” I said, but didn’t add that often where’s there’s smoke there’s usually fire. I’d have to take another tact and let the subject drop for now. “Let’s get some rest.  We have to get to back to Balmora.”

“Ok…and look,” Julan turned to me, speaking softer, “I don’t think you always lie.  It’s just…I wish you tell me the truth more often…and not be so afraid to do so.”  I said nothing, but squeezed his hand.

In the morning we made our way down the coast.  I wanted to see if I could get to the Imperial city of Caldera today.  Julan hadn’t been there, and I thought it was pretty town, perhaps he would see that not all things Imperial were a horror.  Along the way we encountered the Daedric shrine Maelkashishi.  We were attacked immediately by one of the worshippers outside. “Now that’s odd Jules, usually the worshippers are inside and the “witch hunters” are out here.”

“Hmm.  Wonder what gives?  Should we investigate?”

I looked to him and smiled.  “But of course.” Inside the Daedric Shrine we encountered another strange site, an ailing Orc Bulfim gra-Shugarz.  She had ashe-chancre, and nasty little disease, known to many bathhouse denizens. Both Julan and I tried healing her, but nothing worked.  She asked us to leave her and advised us to leave the site, other cultists were there and would attack us immediately—in fact she would have attacked us had she been up to it.  Nice.  Would have killed her, but I didn’t want to get that close.    We hit the shrine and sent her friends to meet their favorite gods and sent some Dremora back to Oblivion.  

We took the fast travel option from Ald-ruhn, then ambled through Caldera and stopped at all the shops to trade.  Despite Julan’s absolute hatred of everything Empire, I think he enjoyed the little mining town; its setting was picturesque and pretty; nothing like the dirty streets of Balmora or the dust and ash from Ald-ruhn.

“You know, this place reminds me of Chorrol.  It looked much like this.” And it did.  The streets were cobblestone and the houses were made from timber and stone.  The signs hanging outside the merchant shops were bright and cheerful and inside the shops were stuffed with quaint and charming little objects.  After trading some tools and weapons, we went into Shenk’s Shovel to get some food.  Julan asked, “Say, since we’re in a tavern, let’s have a drink.   I bet the ale even tastes Imperial.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I looked at him in disgust.  “You’re really hateful sometimes.” I added over my Matze and crab.

“I think I’m being charitable.  Anni, in case you forgotten, they enslaved my people!”

“That was a long time ago.  Don’t you think it’s time you moved on?  I mean you’re not slaves now.” Stupid argument, but he had to learn to get along with others, if it was his destiny to be a uniter; he had to start thinking like one.

“Moved on?!?  Just because it was a long time ago doesn’t change anything!!  It was a great injustice then, and its still one now!”

I exhaled then grinned at Julan.  “You know, you’re sexy when you’re angry,” I said slyly.  I had my feet in his lap and moved them slightly over his crotch. “But, the Empire has done so much for Vvardenfell.”

“I don’t care what they’ve done!” he gulped as I moved my foot slightly.  “They took our Freedom!  Our Pride as a free land!  Nothing is worth that, damn it, nothing! ....Oh and thanks. Err…” He was blushing fiercely.

“So you hate all Imperials, then?” I was baiting him. In truth I loved our little debates.  I learned much from them and would have liked to think I enlightened him as well.

“Yes, because they—.”

“Yes, yes, I know…but, uh, you’ve spoken to every Imperial on Vvardenfell and decided you hate them, have you?” taking another sip of brandy.

“What?  No, of course not, silly girl.  I just hate what they represent.”

“How the hell would you know what they represent, since you avoid them like the plague?  Name one Imperial you actually know.  Come on, expert!”

“Well,” he said looking up from his brandy, lips pursed, “when you put it that way…All right, fine you win,” he said smiling, “I suppose I don’t hate all Imperials.  Sometimes I say things without thinking.   Though,” he said holding my foot smiling, “no matter how convincing your argument, I still hate the Emperor and Ordinators.  Is that okay, with you, pretty girl?”

“I’m with you on that.” I smiled, wiping my mouth.

Caldera

“Good.  It appears you’ve retained some reason.”

“Let’s head to Balmora….unless you wanted to stay in Caldera tonight.” I glanced quickly at Julan, my eyes an invitation.  He paused for a moment and I could see his mind working.  Surprisingly, he said softly, “We should probably head back.”  Regretfully, I moved toward the door as Julan paid the tab.  We moved in silence through the quiet, dimly lit streets of Caldera down a lonely alley, when unexpectedly, Julan pushed me up against the wall and kissed me the way I had wanted to be kissed—hard and grasping, tasting of hack-lo and Matze.  Instinctively I wrapped my legs around his waist and we moved rhythmically against a damp wall.  I felt him through his travel worn pants, and electric coursed through my body.

“There are Inns for that kind of business!  Unhand her and move along,” the Imperial guard shouted. “You dark ones are like animals!”  Jules reached for the hilt of his sword, I grabbed him quickly.  

“To Balmora, love.”  We arrived there in haste, as I feared what he would have done had we stayed in Caldera.  We reached the apartment.  I hadn’t been there since the fight.

“Oh Anne, we certainly made a mess of things,” he whispered.  “You go see Cosades and I’ll start cleaning this up.”

I headed over to Cosades, though I hadn’t really wanted to.  He greeted me eagerly. “So,” he started, “you’ve spoken to Sul-Matuul and Nibani Maesa, and from what they say, it sounds like you could really be the Nerevarine…That’s just incredible.”

“I know, but keep in mind Caius, Nibani said I was the one ‘who may become the Nerevarine’.” I said.  No use in breaking out the banners and having a parade if there was nothing to celebrate.

“I’ll get word to Mehra and see if she can find out whether the Dissident Priest have any of the lost prophecies.  For, now I have a very tough assignment for you.  Do you think you’re ready?”

“Willing heart and able hand,” I laughed.  “What is it?”

"You dark ones are like animals."

“Well, don’t get over confident.” Caius then explained that I was to raid a Sixth House Cavern called Ilumibi—a sea cavern.  Seems there might be a problem with corprus disease.  I was to meet with Captain Raesa Pullia at Forth Buckmoth and get all the details.  I think I’m going to give Julan the option of opting out.  No need for both of us to die….

I returned to a clean apartment and an adamant Jules.  “No, Anni, I’m not opting out.  This mission sounds…interesting.  And dangerous.  Probably suicidally dangerous.  But if it’s something you have to do, then I’ll be right there with you.  I think you’re going to need all the help you can get.”

I leaned over and kissed him.  “Thank you.  Oh, and the place looks great.”

“Let’s avoid trashing it in the future.”

“Agreed.” I snaked my hands around this waist.  He held them and said softly, “We must rise early on the morrow.  Good night, Anni.” 

Day 77

“There she is, over there,” I motioned to the tall brunette in full armor. My ass hurt from all the trips back and forth on that dammed silt strider.  We were back to Ald-ruhn again walking towards the Imperial fort.  It was strange contrast to see a large, imposing stone fortress beside town fashioned with soft-angled buildings made from clay and adobe.   Buckmoth Legion Fort seemed ill-placed against the softly rolling hills of rock and ash.

Raesa Pullia

“Raesa,” I started politely, extending my hand to her.

“You must be Annika Blue.  Caius sent you to handle this Sixth House business?”

“Yes.”

She took a deep breath than spoke. “Well, there some things you should know, before approaching Ilumibi. Only one trooper from the last party returned.  He died soon after, horribly disfigured from Corprus, and out of wits.  He kept saying Ilumibi.” Was she trying to spook me?

“Where is this place?” I asked shortly.

“It’s not on our maps, though try asking around Gnaar Mok, the fishing village on the coast.  Anyway, the party ended crossing paths with a half-man creature named Dagoth Gares.  Apparently this Gares slew the rest of the patrol, but spared one—“

“To tell the story,” I added.

“Exactly.  The soldier kept mumbling that ‘the Sleeper awakes, and ‘the Sixth House has risen.  Towards the end he became more feverish and started ranting “Dagoth Ur is Lord and I am his Priest” and ‘All will be one with Him in the flesh’.  He died shortly after.”

“I’ll see what I can do.  Thank you Raesa.”  Julan and I stocked up on some curative potions and food, explaining to Julan that we would have to make the long trek through the Bitter Coast region to the shanty town of Gnaar Mok.  Hiking through the mountains, we made small talk, some things about a plant or the way a particular tree looked against the sky.  We were avoiding anything of substance as it would lead to the inevitable question of us.  I thought about what I had learned from the notes I had read.  I had a few questions for my tutor.  “Julan, tell me about the Dwemer and Dunmer.  Why were they at war?”

              Julan smiled at the chance of getting to lecture. “You know the Dunmer were once known as the Chimer, before the Tribunal became—what they are.”  I knew he was going to say gods, but caught himself.
            “You know I never understood that.”
            “What?”
             “The whole Chimer race.  How they became the Dunmer.”
            “Well, I could refer you to the book The Changed Ones, but for time’s sake—“
            “We have quite a bit of time.”
            “Well, okay, Anni.” He paused for a second, to think.  “Alright, the Chimer people came from the Summerset Isles, and were indistinguishable from Altmer or High Elves.”
             “Really?”
              “Yes.  The Chimer, under their prophet Veloth made the exodus to Morrowind.”
             “When?”
         “I…I don’t know the date off the top of my head, some time in the first Era..  Anyways,” he said with some frustration, “quit interrupting, love, I lose my train of thought.”
          “Sorry.  Go ahead.”
          “The Dunmer arrived in Vvardenfell, though it was already populated by the Dwemer people, who were very secular and governed by reason rather than religion.” Sounded like interesting people, though I knew better to interject.  Julan continued.  “The Dunmer prospered in Morrowind thus threatening the Dwemer.  The two naturally clashed over land and religion.” I nodded.
         “Anyway, despite their differences, both races came together when threatened by the First Empire—Nords from Skyrim.  Lord Nerevar and Dumac Dwarfking forged an alliance and close friendship and were successful in driving out the n’wah—” he turned to me to see if I caught that. I did and scowled slightly. “I mean Outlanders,” he said quickly.
          “So what happened?”
          “Well some time after they successfully beat back the Nords, Azura sent a vision to Lord Nerevar that the Dunmer were harnessing power of a dying god to make themselves immortal. The sin of the Dwemer was the creation of a new god from the substance of a dead god, Lorkhan.”
          “Where did they find a dead god?  I mean are they just lying around?”
          “I...no!  No…I don’t think so.  Can I finish?”
          “Sure.”
         “Great.  Anyway, to make a long story short,  Nerevar confronted his dear friend Dumac and the two quarreled over the Heart of Lorkhan.  Dumac refused to force his people give the quest for immortality.  The argument broke their friendship into pieces.  The two men fought viciously and were both mortally wounded.  Before dying, Nerevar made Almalexia, Vivec and Sotha Sil promise never to use the Dwemer tools to ascend to god-hood.”
          “That’s so sad…horrible, really.”
           “It gets worse, Anne.” He paused for a second.  “So as Nerevar lay dying, his wife Almalexia, her lover Vivec and Vivec’s brother Sotha Sil plotted to break the oath they made with Nerevar and Azura to never use the Dwemer tools to raise themselves to godhood, and in doing so, Azura cursed the Dunmer to look as dark as their acts.
           “What acts?  I mean I understand they broke an oath and all, and that’s bad, but there has to be more.”
           “Much more.  There is story, passed on by my people, that the Tribunal, as they call themselves, killed Nerevar while he was summoning Azura.  Apparently they used poison against him as they couldn’t beat him in a real battle.”  He paused for a moment.  “Anyway, Azura was understandably enraged and she vowed to turn “our eyes as red as lava” and our skin “as black as our hearts”.  Of course by this time, Vivec, Almalexia and Sotha Sil had already used the Heart of Lorkhan, and were  gods, thus they could change their appearance at will.  It only fell back on the people they were supposed to be protecting. The sin of the Tribunal, Anni, is in breaking an oath to Azura to promising to never tap into the Heart with Dwemer tools.  And we’ve had to pay the price ever since.”
             “I don’t think it’s much of a curse, Jules.  You Dark Elves are really quite attractive,” I cooed.
             “You think?” he laughed.
             “I always thought the Altmer looked sallow, jaundiced almost.” I smiled slyly. “They certainly behave as if constipated.”  He laughed openly at this.
            “Oh Anni, lets take a break and have food.  I’m starving,” Julan smiled.  We ate some bread, cheese and water that I had packed earlier, though the supplies were dwindling.  I looked to the large tree off to left of us, its branches reached out slightly beyond the land touching the sea.  I watched the sun sparkle through the moss and almost dozed off.   Julan mumbled something, though I did not catch what he said.

“What?” I asked sleepily.

“I said I wanted you last night.  It took everything I had to fight it,” he said staring into his wine.  Sadly, and to my great disappointment, we did not pick up where we had left off in Caldera after I returned from Cosades.

“Why does it have to be a fight?” I asked softly.

“I’m at risk of losing myself, Anni.  In truth I’ve wanted you from the first.  I’m just afraid….”

“Of what?”  Of course I knew.  He couldn’t trust me.  Could I blame him?

“Of getting too close to you…of…well,” he then spoke softly “…of getting too close. My mission Anni, it has to come first…and I’m losing myself…in you.”

I turned away for a moment.  “I don’t know what to say, Jules…I’m sorry if….”

“No Anne.  Gods no, don’t be sorry.  I just…Well… Just give me time…Give us time.”

“Ok.”  What else could I say?  I felt Erica might be right that he was trying to draw me in. “We’re near Gnaar Mok,” I said shortly.  “I see the planks that Raesa described.  I guess we’ll head over and ask for directions. Oh and Jules…don’t worry about it, ok?  Whatever happens…happens.” He nodded and smiled.

“You know it’s kind of pretty here, Anne.  The moss and the trees….” Julan’s voice trailed off.

“Hey, dreamer…It’s a bloody swamp, raging with corprus and gods knows what else…But hey, I think I saw a shack for sale back there, we can inquire if you’re interested. Take up fishing, or pirating, something.”

The Bitter Coast

“Hmmph, you’re already a pirate.”

“Agrgh,” I said laughing loudly, though from the corner of my eye I saw a small man staring at us. “Look, Jules, there’s a Wood Elf over there.  Let’s see if he knows where this Ilumibi is.” The elf, Anglalos, stated that that particular cavern was at the north end of the island, right of Khartag Point.  He warned us not to poke around there. “It’s a popular smugglers den and they might not welcome visitors.”  I certainly didn’t want to run into anyone I had ripped off.

“What’s Khartag Point?” asked Julan.

“Some of the Orcs consider it a landmark.  One Orc or another jumped off the cliff on a dare.  Didn’t end well…” Anglalos said shaking his head.

“Thank you for the information.  We’ll take your warning to heart,” I said considerately. Of course I was lying and I knew we wouldn’t, but it seemed a nice thing to say…We found a place to camp, and I pretended to fall asleep quickly as I didn’t want rehash the previous discussion or have reason to end up more frustrated.  It was enough to know that he cared and had thought of it too.  I would have to be satisfied with that for now.

The morning came too soon.  The air was damp and sea had brought in the fog, creating an eerie setting, enhancing my uneasiness.  I was dreading this mission.  For the first time I was hesitant.  I had a terrible of sense of something going wrong.  “Jules, are you ready?”

“As I’ll ever be.”  We trudged across the planks and swampy water out to the sea.  Right off Khartag point we saw a small island—a rock really, with a tree and cavern door.  

“I think this is it.” We walked in slowly.  Immediately I felt queasy.  The air was putrid and the stench overwhelming.

 “Anni,” Jules started, “this place doesn’t feel right, somehow…it’s hard to explain…But I don’t like it.”

“I know. My skin is crawling.”

“The air feels so…diseased.  Let’s hurry and get whatever we came in for and get out!”

“I’m working on it, Jules!” Suddenly out of nowhere a voice spoke.

“The Sixth House greets you, Lord Nerevar.  I am known as Dagoth Gares, priest of Ilumibi Shrine, and minister of the Sixth house servants.  My Lord, Dagoth Ur has informed me of your coming.  I wish you had come to honor the Lord’s friendship, not betray it.

“Sheogorath, Anni!!!  That’s just like the things from my dreams!! We have to get out of here now!  Anni, this is bad, bad, BAD!!”

“He’s after us. We’ll have to take a stand,” I said. I then began shouting, “What do you mean by friendship, Gares?”

“Once we were friends and brothers, Lord Nerevar, in peace and in war.  Yet beneath Red Mountain, you struck me down as I guarded the treasure you bound me by oath to defend.  But, remembering our old friendship, I would forgive you and raise you high in my service.” I somehow knew this was Dagoth Ur, not Gares speaking.

“We don’t want your friendship, Dagoth.  The Sixth House has to leave Vvardenfell now!” I said this as forcefully as I could, though I was shaking and having a difficult time finding my way through the dark cavern.

Gares spoke, “The Sixth House wakes from its long dream and with its Lord, Dagoth Ur, it comes forth to free Vvardenfell of foreign rulers and divine pretenders!  Dagoth will cast down the false gods and drive the foreigners from the land.  He bids you come to Red Mountain to grant your friendship anew.”

I turned and what I saw shook me to the bone. A hideously deformed man behind me which I could only assume was Dagoth Gares, floated towards me.  I quickly raised my sword and struck him down.  With his dying breath, Dagoth Gares smiled and looked up at me with his lips barely moving as he spoke, “Even as my Master wills, you shall come to him in his flesh and of his flesh.”  I felt a sharp pang in my stomach and went down to my knees.  Immediately, my face began burning as if someone held a torch to it.  I screamed.  

Julan came up behind me running. “Anni, we did it….Wait…What’s the matter with you?  You look different, somehow.” He turned my face to the light.  “Shenogorath! You have corprus disease!  That bastard cursed you with corprus!  Gods!”

“Oh no…no…Jules…What does this mean?”

“Mashti told me about this.  It’s a serious form of blight disease.  Dagoth’s minions can transmit it, so she made me drink these foul-tasting herbal concoctions for a week to make me immune.” I started breathing heavily.  “Damn!  Why didn’t I think to make her do the same for you?  Damn it!”

“We…didn’t know…this was to happen,” I said choking.  My breathing was labored and I felt like I being strangled.

“Anni…They…they say it’s incurable…And…always fatal…Ai…Anne…” he said, jaws clenched.  “I’m so sorry…I’m so damned sorry…”

“Jules I don’t want to die in this cave.  We have to get back to Balmora.” I don’t remember how we go back—in faith, I believe he carried me, but somehow we made it. I only remembered the feeling of time moving quickly and my body shaking. “I have to see Cosades,” I whispered. Upon seeing me and my warping flesh, people cleared the streets and shouted profanities in my direction.  “Julan, just stay calm.  You have to help me…Don’t rise to it.”  Cosades was waiting and this time did not shout at Julan’s presence.

“Annika,” Caius said clearly, without emotion—or fear, “I am worried you have corprus disease,” Caius started.  “But I have some good news in that department.”

Yagrum Bagarn

“Good news…really?”

“Fast Eddie, one of my informants, told me that your best chance of getting cured is Divayth Fyr, an ancient Telvanni wizard who runs a Corprusarium south of Sadrith Mora for victims of the disease. Here…take this (handing Julan 1000 drakes and a Dwemer artifact).  A gift may sweeten his disposition.” I couldn’t say anything at this point.  I was too weak.  Cosades gave Julan directions as I was fading in and out of consciousness.  Julan lifted me again and we headed for the Mages Guild and fast travel to Sadrith Mora.

“You shouldn’t be here!  Get away!” shouted Masaline Merian, Mage of Travel.

“You’ll transport us, or simply, you will die,” Julan grimaced, with his hand on the hilt of his sword and me swung over his shoulders, eyes burning.  Masaline didn’t hesitate, though other Mages were gathering.  In a moments time I felt as if I was flying…Then there was light and someone carrying me….I lost consciousness as my body burned. “Anni, we’re here.  You have to be strong to speak with Divayth.  Wake up, Anni…”

“Jules, if I don’t make it…”

“Don’t speak like that...”

“…Please tell Erica….”

“You’ll tell her yourself.”

“Julan…I….”

“Anni!” I felt his hand tapping my face.  I was being carried again.  The Telvanni architecture could not have made this easy for Julan; Telvanni strongholds were notorious in their construction of unending towers where only flying was an option.  Finally, we made it to Divayth, and aged Dunmer, in Daedric armor.  He wanted something from me….Dwemer Artifact…And boots…  He said something about having a potion.  I was to get that potion.

“Go to the bowels of the Corprusarium and get my boots from my eldest patient, Yagrum Bagarn. Go see what’s in store for you if you don’t take the potion.” This made no sense to me…I was dying and this s’wit was worried about his damned boots.  Julan and I didn’t speak as we made our way down to the bowels of the Corprusarium…I stopped as we reached the gate.  I saw the caverns beyond.  Everything was tinged with a yellow sickness.  I turned back to Julan and knew I didn’t want him coming with me.

“Jules, this is too dangerous…I think…I think I can manage…Please don’t follow me...”

“Annika…you know I’m not…”

I cut him off, “Jules, I have to do this alone….too risky.  The Nerevarine cannot fail.  You must complete your task—and fulfill your destiny.” He looked straight ahead, jaws clenched.

“You’re right…I know you’re right…” He stopped and I could tell he was rationalizing my logic, perhaps feeling guilt for being relived…. “If one of Divayth’s patients attack…I could be infected…Or I’m worried I might snap and kill one of them and then you’d might not get the damned potion…You know I have some trouble controlling my temper sometimes…I don’t want to risk this…or you .”

“Wish me luck then.”  

“If you need me, I’ll be close by,” he said turning from me.

Give me the damned potion.

“I know,” I uttered as I stumbled through the gate.  I felt strength—at least strong enough to move across the dank Corprusarium to get those damned boots; I suppose it was the light at the end of the tunnel. Almost blindly I made my way to Yagrum, a hugely obese Dwemer, who handed me the boots and started talking about the disappearance of the Dwarves, bragging that he was the last of them.  I couldn’t care less. The place smelled strongly of piss and defecation.  Denizens of the Corprusarium were horribly bloated and missing body parts.  I had to get out of there, as I felt I would be sick.  I took the boots before Yagrum finished talking and headed back to Julan and  Divayth study.  This had to work.
    “No boots…no potion.” Divayth sneered as I reached his tower.

“Here’s your damned boots,” I said dropping them at his feet. I was beyond pleasantries just now.

He smiled caustically as he picked up a sparkling silver vial. “You must drink this here,” Divayth said handing me the potion.  “I want to see if it works.  Agreed?”

“Yes!”  I was shaking uncontrollably at this point.  .

“Bottom’s up!  Good now swallow…” I drank the entire bitter tasting potion. Divayth looked at me in shock. “Good grief!  Look!  Look!  It’s working!” I felt a  warmth spread through my body,  a kind of numbness—the pain had stopped.  I felt the burning in my face subside.  “Remarkable,” Divayth started, “let me check your eyes…and skin… your tongue…Amazing.  I think it worked.  No sign of the disease at all.”  He smiled, a man proud of his work.  “Of course,” he continued, “you still have the corprus, just like I planned, but all your symptoms are gone.  Marvelous…I’ll make some more for the rest of the inmates.”  I slunk down in large cushioned chair.  I needed to sit for a moment.

“Just let her rest,” a voice said as I started to doze.  I heard Julan and Divayth speaking about the Tribunal and then the disappearance of the Dwarves.  I still couldn’t care less.  After a time I stood.  “I think I’m strong enough to go.” I said.  The last two days were a blur.  “Jules, thank you for helping me.  A lesser man would have been afraid.”

“You have no idea how glad I am that you’re well.”

“I want to rest for a few days.  We’ll stay in Vivec.  I don’t want to go back to Balmora for a while.  Just give me some time.”

Day 94

From the bed, on the third day after our arrival I looked at the tub in the middle of the room.  “What I need is a good bath.” I said aloud.

“Why don’t you let me fetch the water?  You’re still very weak, sera.” Julan said in a low tone.  

“Yes, a warm bath would be good.  I can’t remember the last time…” my voice trailed.  It had been months since I enjoyed a good bath.  Showering on the run or diving in a cool lake was just not the same; and I still ached from the whole ordeal.  

What I need is a good bath

“As you wish,” he spoke softly and gently touched my cheek.  Julan had cared for me since we had arrived in Vivec—and though I barely remembered it; it was he who saw me through the corprus.  Something in him had changed in the days past. I had watched him come up and down the hall with water for the bath, no complaint, just a gentle smile in my direction.  I fell asleep watching him; when I woke it was dusk.  A pale pink shadow fell across the floor.  I rose slowly and moved toward the full length mirror, removing the loose shift I had worn since arriving in Vivec. I had been standing in front of the mirror looking for any marks on my body that would tell the tale of corprus when I heard a soft footfall behind me.  I looked up and saw Julan’s reflection in the mirror.  He looked longingly at me then closed his eyes briefly.  He put the pail down and walked closer towards me.  Julan looked at my body for what seemed to me an eternity then lifted me up…Not to the bed as I had anticipated, but to the bath… “I shall see you at dinner…Annika,” he said in a low, husky voice as he walked out…

Later that night we sat outside against the house, leaning against each other staring at a clear sky; the evening air smelling sweet, of heather and kanet.  “Look, Anni…at the stars…” Julan said in whisper. “They make you feel very small, don’t they?  Are they gods, do you think?”

“I’m not sure.”

“How else could they have such an influence on our lives?” he asked smiling.  “Anni, can I ask you a personal question?”  I laughed at this as just hours ago he had lifted my naked body into a steaming tub, how much more personal could you get?  He then looked at me seriously, “Are you a religious person?”

I thought for a second before speaking, as I never really put these thoughts into words.  “I believe in belief, Jules,” I started slowly.  “The gods are all around us, I suppose….a tree blowing in the wind, sands shifting across the wastes in the sunset, the way the breeze kisses the plains, moving the wheat across the fields in a dance…a lonely house amid fields of cornflower…”

“Anni, I think you are a poet.” Julan said softly.

“Its many things Jules, not just nature but of man and mer…I believe the gods are everywhere…I see them when a mother holds her child, or when a beggar cries out and is heard…It’s the way that two lovers find each other in a sea of people—and the terrible things that happen, that could easily pull them apart.” I stopped for a second, staring at him, then continued.  “Fate and the stars are bigger…and more real… than the petty games the Daedra play…In truth Jules, its hard for me to put any belief in them as I feel there is more to the stars then that…The gods, or god is a force that we cannot see, but is there…always there.” I said closing my eyes.   

“Anni…. I’ve never heard it put such a way,” he said sipping on Cyrodillic Brandy.  “As you know, my people worship the good Daedra, Azura of course…and our ancestors, although, I don’t have any myself…but I know that Azura protects me," he stopped pausing for a second… “but even so, sera, the Daedra are hard to understand.  And they say that Shenogorath, the Mad God takes many forms…I can’t begin to understand that…to comprehend why.  I don’t even like to think about it really.  I need to have faith—to believe.”

“I know what it means to you and how it gives you strength, I wish I could say the same…It must be good to have something—or someone to look to, outside yourself.”

“Anni its funny, I used to think that anyone who didn’t have the same beliefs that I had were wrong, and well, for lack of a better term…a bad person…I think that’s why I hesitated asking you before… I guess I didn’t want to judge you in that way.  But lately I’ve met so many people who think all kinds of different things…And lots of them are good people.  Like Mehra, and Divayth,” he then paused looking directly at me, “and you, Annika Blue.”  I smiled at this and squeezed his hand.

“Oh, you may not be perfect…” he said laughing.

“Aw, come on Jules.”

“Seriously, Anne, he said biting my shoulder. “But you are good—and somehow I’ve always known that…You must be so, to have put up with me for so long!” He paused and turned to face me.  “I never would have come this far if you hadn’t helped me.  I’d probably be dead somewhere.”

“I don’t know about that…” I said turning slightly.  “Delayed perhaps.  But Julan, you have strength too.  You’ve saved my skin quite a few times before….”  It was true.  Many times I would have met my end in some nameless cavern or Daedric shrine…

“Chances and risks, Anni…You do seem to get yourself into trouble…” he laughed.

“No more than you can handle,” I said smiling, the paused. “No more than we….” I said, my voice trailing off.  Julan looked at me, gently lifting my chin to meet his gaze.

“I just want you know...” He stopped saying nothing though stared at me intently.

“Yes,” I felt my heart beating rapidly.

“You’re amazingly beautiful…and...oh, Mephala, I’m terrible at this,” He leaned over and kissed me passionately.  Julan stopped and leaned back against the wall.  I could see he was still fighting it.  The battle would be lost tonight.  I could feel it radiating from both of us.  He pulled back slowly, resting his head against my shoulder

“You’re a treasure Jules, like your name,” I whispered softly against the warmth of his head.

 “I think Jules was the name you gave me,” he said quietly.  “But oh, that reminds me…” he started, though rather sheepishly, “I wanted to give you something…it’s not much…but…well, I had Mashti enchant this for me…”  He held out long, pink amulet, a stone with fire on the inside.  It was simple, yet lovely.

“Its beautiful Julan, I love it. Here, help me put it on.”   I turned slightly from him and moved my hair to the side.  I felt his hands brush up against my neck, sending chills down my spine.

“You know for the last several weeks,” Julan started softly, his breath against my ear.  “I’ve been the model of self-control and restraint.  But I’ll have you know that it’s been a struggle…” He then turned me to face him. “My will has prevented me from touching you in a way…” he stopped, his breath growing heavier.  I brushed my lips against his arms as he held me.  “Anni…I better stop…”

“No.” I wanted him.  It would be tonight. It would be now. I moved my lips across his, barely touching them.  I felt his breath.

“Anni, I don’t think I can stop this time.  If you’ve any doubts or if you’re going leave…”

"Anne, I think I love you."

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said breathlessly, almost chocking on my words.  I took his hand and guided it over my breast, I stood, letting the shift slip of my shoulder and fall to the ground. In the distance I saw the light from Vivec, flickering like stars on the horizon. Julan did not speak but came toward me, nostrils dilated in the way that spoke of no return.  He lifted me up and pressed my body against his, breath hot on my shoulders and collarbone, his scent dizzying, wafting of a man’s desire, his kiss like hunger. Lips moved across my breast in a flame, his hands softly caressing my hips.  Breathing heavily, I ran my fingers along his stomach; he let out a slight moan as I undid his breaches and let them fall.  We then stopped for a moment, pulses thudding then Julan lifted me against the wall...... 

“Anne, I think I love you.”