Chapter 11

Chapter 11:  The Unwilling Incarnate

Moon and Star

Day 117

“Are you ready?”

Julan paused for a moment; he had just finished a drink with Hassour.  “As I’ll ever be, sera.”  

We headed east through the wastes back to Urshailaku. I had come to dread our visits to Nibani.  She and those damned prophesies had become a division.   “Jules, it’s strange.  The one thing that brought us together keeps pulling us apart.”  He said nothing, but nodded slightly and stared straight ahead.  Arrival at the camp was nothing short of depressing.  The children had started coming out of the yurts when we were there, but they had very little. Recently I had taken to finding clothes and toys to bring to them.  The mothers who wanted more than misery for their children took these offerings happily; the others made it pertinently clear that my charity was unwanted. I wondered to myself what was the good of pride when your child’s feet are cold?

 “Nibani, it’s good to see you,” I said firmly.  “Have you made your judgment?” Enough stalling.

“Yes, sera.  The ancestors and stars have given me clear signs and the prophecies leave no doubt—the Incarnate shall be an Outlander.  You, blessed by Azura, must lift the seven curses of Dagoth Ur. ” I saw Julan cringe at these words. Nibani continued “I have been chosen to be your guide down the Nerevarine’s path.  I will read the signs and show you the way.  It is time.”

“Is there a possibility that the prophecies could be wrong, that another—an Ashlander—could be the one?”  I hoped that she would reconsider and Jules would have the strength to speak up.  I would not on his behalf.

“That is doubtful, though I would not discount it. You have passed both the first and second trials—uncertain parentage and the Curse-of-Flesh, corprus.  The third trial is not my secret to share.  Go to Sul-Matuul and he shall be your guide through the third trial.”

Kogruhn

“Thank you, Nibani.  I will go to Sul-Matuul immediately.” I said nothing to Julan.  I was disappointed that he could not speak up for himself.  I was heartened, though by thought of the first two prophecies being easily filled.  I mean anyone could be born a bastard and drink a potion.  In a way Julan had passed the second trial—he did not contract corprus.  I would point this out to him later—when he finished brooding.

“Outlander,” Sul-Matuul said warmly upon my entering his yurt. “You have entered the path of the Nerevarine.  This is a hard thing to believe.  But Nibani has spoken to me at length of this and I have had time to consider.  I shall keep my own counsel, and set before you my own test.  I do not dispute with Nibani, though the wise woman’s ways are not the ways of the warrior.  Many before have tried the path of the Nerevarine, but all have failed the warrior’s test.  You must have strength, courage and cunning.”

“Go on, Sul-Matuul.”

“Nearby lies Kogoruhn, the ancient halls of the forgotten house.  In recent times, creatures of blight have come to dwell there.  I myself went there, with some brave hunters and came back again, but it was a bad place, and I am not ashamed to say I was afraid, sera, for myself and my men. If you want the secret of the ‘caverns dark, where Azura’s eye sees,’ then you will prove to me that you have a warrior’s heart.  Go to Kogoruhn and retrieve weepings of a corprus beast, to show proof that you are immune, a cup with mark of House Dagoth so I know your eyes have seen what I have seen with my own, and a special shield that lies on the Tomb of Dagoth Morin.”

“I shall do these things or die trying, Sul.”

“Good luck, sera.”  

We walked out the door; Jules was steaming.  “This is big waste of time, Anni! This isn’t getting me anywhere.  How am I supposed to carry out my mission if we’re getting all sidetracked with a stupid prophecy that isn’t right?”

“Why didn’t you say something to Nibani?  You have had every opportunity to set her straight!  You could just as easily fit all those “signs”.  You, too have unknown parents and you didn’t catch corprus from me—that in and of itself says something.  But damn it, Jules, you have to say something!”

“Nibani is not my guide!  Azura is—through my mother,” he said forcefully.  “You know this.”

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

“You know I don’t,” he said irritably.  “But I don’t like this.  It’s all heading in the wrong direction.  They should have realized you’re not the one by now.  Something’s not right here,” he said looking around the camp.

“I can’t help what they see and what they don’t see.  And you haven’t spoken up.  So what do you want me to do?  I say we need to find the location of this shrine or cavern.”

“Yes…and they’re only going to tell you where it is if you play along with what they want you to do.” Julan said irritated.

“Of course, they don’t want me to be the Nerevarine, especially Sul-Matuul.  You know this.”

“Oh, Anne, I suppose you’re right.  I know I’m too suspicious for my own good.  I just…Oh nevermind.  Let’s go and get these stupid trinkets from Kogoruhn.  I just hope this Cavern of the Incarnate place will give me the answers I need about what to do next.”

“I know, Jules.  And hey, for what its worth I know it’s difficult for you to hear that…that someone other than you is the Nerevarine.”

“Let’s just go Anni, before we...” his voice trailed.

“Let’s,” I said looking directly at him.  The night time dessert air was crisp with brilliant stars shining above.  I could understand how this land could grow on you.  Desolate, yes—but there was beauty in the barren rock.  When the sun went down over the rolling hills and cast a pale red light across the land, I could see how a people revered it as god.  In the distance, I saw an unnatural looking hill—no building..  It stuck out our like a palm tree in the snow.  It didn’t belong here.

“That’s it.”  I paused, climbing the steps to the top of the structure only to find a dead Ordinator at my feet.  “Wait, Jules—stop.  There’s a dead Ordinator.” Odd.

“That’s a happy sight,” Jules quipped.

“Seriously, I wonder what’s going on.”

“Well, you heard Sul.  He wants to send you to a particularly nasty place to make sure you’re good and dead.”

“I know, though look, over there’s some dome…” There were three oddly shaped buildings, one of them dome like.  “That’s the smallest one, we’ll start there.”

“Probably where they store the slaves.”

"Do you think they were human once?"

“Probably.” We swung the unlocked door open into a room much larger than anticipated, though there were no slaves, just musical objects and Dagoth Something or other.  We slew him right off and gather the corprus weepings (ewww) and the Dagoth Cup.
    “Mephala, Anni, did you see his face?  Do you think they were actually human once?”

“Honestly I don’t know…But, hey—two down one to go.”

“Hah, hey look, bells!  I wonder what music these lunatics enjoy! Go on, Anni, give us a tune!”  I grabbed the bell hammer and started banging on them.  Jules did a little jig and then took his turn.  “Gods, Anni…even in a pit we have a great time.”  I kissed him for that.  We entered the main building and were immediately attacked by naked cultist.

“You’d think they’d wear some armor,” Julan spat.

“You’d think they’d wear something—you know some people just aren’t meant to be wondering around all naked.”

“Oh so you’re looking…”

“It’s hard not to see—eh, cellulite.”

“Well?”

“What?” I asked elusively.

“How do I compare?”

“Jules, I’m not even going to answer that.”  He looked disappointed.  “Fine, you’re way better.” I said rolling my eyes as we made our way down another level.

“Don’t sound so enthused.”  

“I’m not going to feed your vanity.  You know what you got.”

“Do you?” he smiled.  

“Huh...Hey, what do ya think it’s behind door number three?”  Had to change the subject and I was fortunate. The gods had blessed me with a locked door and a dead body behind it.  Not only that, but Dead Sera was wearing glass armor.  “Jules, hand me torch, would ya?  It does me no good if I can’t see what I’m stealing….”

We walked down the hall another unmarked room when we were immediately attacked by a Flame Atronach, who went down with my blade and Julan’s bow.  We reached another door, inscribed on molding was “Vault of Areode”.  “Hmmm…What kind of name is “Vault of Areode”?  Do you think these Dagoth’s sit around over some hack lo and Matze and come up with this stuff?”

“Probably Imperial Brandy,” sniffed Julan. We made it to the water way and quickly to the cavern called Charma’s Breath.  I was impressed with Julan’s skills with the cross bow.  No one I had ever seen equaled him in marksmanship.

“Hey, we got what we came for!”  I had just taken out Dagoth Elan and found the glowing shield hiding behind the alter. “Let’s get the hell out of here!”  We headed back to Urshailaku camp, where we would rivals once again.  I hated it.

Day 118

“So Annika, you have passed the test.” Sul-Matuul said with an air of disbelief.    “I am impressed.  These tokens that you have brought to me—you may keep them.”

“Thank you, Sul” I said politely, though I did not add that he could keep the corprus weepings for himself.  Gross.

“So your searching heart is ready.  I believe, that it is time to drop the pretense and for you to seek Azura. ‘In the Caverns of the dark Azura’s eyes sees and makes to shines the moon and the star. Annika, this is the Third Vision.  You must go to the Cavern of the Incarnate and look for the moon and the star.  The secret of the Cavern of the Incarnate is set in a riddle.”  Oh, great.

He cleared his throat then continued, “The eye of the needle lies in the teeth of the wind/ the mouth of the cave lies in the sin of the pearl/ the dream is the door and the star the key.” Sul then paused and looked at me placing his hands on my shoulder.  “You have surprised me with your strength and impressed me with your vision and respect.  Take this with you, my blessing, and the blessing of our tribe, Malipu-Ataman’s belt.”

“Again, thank you.  I will do all that I can for you and your people, Sul-Matuul.” I walked out slowly, bowing my head.  Julan followed behind me.

Out of earshot from Sul-Matuul, Julan said angrily, “You know, if they know where the damned cave is, why can’t they tell us?”

“I think we should ask your guide for answers.  Let’s go see your mother.”

“I think you just want to go back to my yurt and make love.”

“You’re right.  Shall we?” Julan smiled and took my arm.

Day 122

I knew my way to Ahemmusa camp blind, though the night and heavy fog made travel difficult.  I had left before the sun rose.  Time was running out; we had spent several days at Mashti’s encampment, trying to glean answers from a woman who clearly didn’t understand the questions.  Mashti was a woman drowning; she kept trying to come up with vague explanations for the riddles presented by Sul-Matuul.  Julan was frustrated and I knew eventually he would want to strike out and try to find the cavern on our own.  I had to find out what Mashti was covering and the only way to do so was question the Ahemmusa tribesmen.  I first went to the person who knew Julan best—Shani.  Shani had been staying in the healer, Mamaea’s yurt.

“Shani is still delirious and resting.  She cannot speak to you now.” Mamaea said icily.  She was lying.  If only Shani had told me earlier.

“I have to find out some information regarding Julan.  Mamaea, I won’t be turned away.  I need those answers now.”

“Well,” she said turning to me, “Speak to Kammu.  You will find out all you need to know from her.”

“Fine,” I answered cooly, marching out of her yurt.

I found Kammu cooking a meal over the fire.  As she had been kind to me before, I had hoped she would provide answers.  Slowly I approached her.  “Kammu, I need to talk to you about Julan.”

“That is tribal business, and none of your concern,” Kammu uttered softly.

“It is my business Kammu, and I have to have some answers.  About Mashti—.”

“Outlander, please!  Gods, that murderous witch! By Boethiah, don’t say her name out loud, and do not mention such a thing to Ahnabi!”

"Han-Sashael was only married to one woman!"

“Why?” I asked impatiently.

“Ah, sera….Ahnabi, has always been unstable, but especially since her husband, our Ashkhan, died.  Still, she’s very respected and we try to keep her happy…We don’t mention Mashti…or Julan, not if we can help it.”

“I’m sorry, Kammu.  Julan’s life depends on these answers.  I will go to the source if I have to.”

“Anni, no!” Kammu started to stand, but I was determined to talk to this Ahnabi and made my way to her yurt before Kammu could stop me.  I walked in softly and saw a small women bent in prayer.

“Excuse me, Ahnabi, I am sorry to bother you.”

“No, sera,” a woman with a frail body and tired eyes looked up at me and rose slowly from her small alter.  I assumed it was to her fallen husband, the deceased Ashkhan.

“Sera, I know this painful for you…in fact I was told that you may become quite angry at the mention…” I felt a lump growing in my throat as I stared at this woman who impassively stared back.  “I have to know about Mashti Kaushibael.  I am trying to save her son…Was she married to an Ahemmusa man?”

She paused for a moment, as if she did not hear, turning her back she uttered in a low hiss, “What did you say?”

“Mashti Kaushibael…was she married?” I stuttered slowly.

“Han-Sashael was only ever married to one woman and that was me!” She turned and started shouting.  “How dare you suggest that what that evil witch did to him and any connection to a marriage before the gods?  He was mine!”  Ahmabi was sobbing at this point, but she continued, “He loved me!  And when she couldn’t have, she killed him!” She dropped to her knees.  “Get out!” she said in a low guttural voice. “Get out of here!”

I backed out of her yurt slowly.  Upon exiting I was grabbed by an Ahemmusa named Rakeem. “Outlander, what are you doing?”

“Finding out the truth.” I said, gruffly shaking off his hold.  I was afraid he would draw his sword. Instead he pulled me aside and agreed to talk.

“Had you come to me first,” he said slowly.  “You could have avoided Ahmabi’s wrath.”

“I didn’t know, Rakeem.  I have find answers and nobody speaks.  I have to know the truth about Mashti Kaushibael.”

“Hmmph.  The witch woman?” he asked bitterly.  ‘Yes, Outlander, I was there she worked her magic upon our warriors; nearly destroying the tribe….It was bad, very bad.  I alone survive, and I wish I was dead with them.  There is nothing left for our people now.”

“Rakeem, what happened?” I said softly, putting my arm in his as we walked down to the shore.

“Anni, if I may call you that.”

“Please.”

“It was three summers ago.  Han-Sashael, asked me to join his hunting party.  We spent the summer roaming the Grazelands, bringing home food, killing the evil creatures around the camp to protect the tribe.  On a morning with a red sky we came upon Daedra, four of them.  Hungers…I believe you call them.”

“Yes.  I have encountered them at shrines.”

“To see four at once, sera was strange.  They just stood there, like they were waiting on us.  So we attack.  We are warriors, yes?”

“Of course,” I added patiently.

“So we fought the Daedra, bow and blade.  But we were not hurt, and they started running away…”

“Rakeem, I’ve known them to back up when fighting…”

“No sera, they turned their backs, though moved slowly as if they wanted us to follow them.  This was strange, but we did not think….Our prey flees, we chase…hunting, eh?” I nodded and he continued.  “The Daedra ran into a cave.  Han-Sashael says follow—we kill them all and carry their skins and hearts home in glory.  He tells one man to stand watch at the cave mouth, and tells me to run back to the camp and bring the pack guar, to carry home the prize.  So I ran towards the camp, though something made me turn,” he stopped and shuddered. Wordlessly I handed him a rolled hack-lo leaf.

“I saw her, sera.  She was moving fast between the rocks, straight to the cave,” he said quietly.

“Are you sure it was her?”

Rakeem

“I know.  I saw the sun shine off her dagger….I was afraid, for I know of the witch women and what they do to men with their ghost-snake.”

“What?” I asked, incredulous.  Ghostsnake?  That sounded slightly obscene.

“Just listen…” Rakeem responded, rather impatiently.  “I crouched, very still.  I saw her summon her magic, she killed the man at the cave mouth, Ainab.  He was a large man, but he dropped quickly.  She then ran inside.  I heard screaming then, and I went to move…toward the camp to get…help.  Some warriors came back, but it was too late…”

“Please continue, Rakeem…though I know this must be painful…”

“No, sera…no how could you possibly know?  But this has to be said…A group of us headed back to the mouth of the cave.  Dead men, dead Daedra of every kind….they were all dead.  Han-Sashael…he was not there among the dead…Mashti was not either.  We thought she lured him into the deep tunnels, where she could catch him unawares...She could never beat him a fair fight!  We then heard his scream…his death, but we never found the body.”

“What of Mashti?”

“We took the bodies of our warriors—our brothers and tribesmen…and…we ran.  When we got far enough from the cave, I turned around…we all did and saw the witch woman.  Sera, she came out with no blood and the Daedra did not touch her at all.”

“Why did you not seize her?”  I would have thought they’d have her head.

“In truth, we were too afraid.  She was too strong, and we could not lose anymore…Ai…That was a dark day for our tribe…So many strong warriors…gone.  My brother, my cousin…our Ashkhan.  The tribe, Ai, sera…I do not think we will ever recover.  Now we are just waiting for the evil to come from the mountain and finish us.  There are no more strong warriors.  No more honor for the Ahemmusa.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Rakeem.  You’re still alive…there are others.” I said those words knowing that he was right.  This weakened tribe could not take another blow.  “Thank you for speaking to me.”

“What will you do now?” he asked slowly.

“Set things to rights.”  I was not sure how. I knew Mashti would deny it all and that Julan would believe her lies…As Rakeem and I walked back to the camp I saw Julan in the distance.  I made my way over to him slowly.

“What are you doing here?” Julan uttered grimly. “You were talking to Rakeem for some time.”

“Trying to find some truth.” I said walking past him.  He grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face him.

“How?  Listening to more lies?” Clearly he was angry.  “Why can you not believe me?”

“Its not you I don’t believe, Julan.”

“I’m tired of this,” he said.  “Let’s go find the cavern.  I think I have an idea of where it might be…unless you’d like to continue gossiping.”

“No, I’ve heard my fair share of stories today.” I said resigned.

“We’ll set out at first light.  My mother gave me a map.”

“How does she know?” Mashti had been stalling all week.

“I told you she’s guided by Azura!  Gods, Anni, why can’t you believe it?”

Because it wasn’t true.

Day 123

Cavern of Incarnate

All this time it had been in our back yard.  The Cavern of the Incarnate lay less than four miles south of Mashti’s compound.  My heart was pounding as we reached the door.  “Jules, its locked,” I said stating the obvious.  In frustration, Julan kept trying the door.  No picks, magic or bad tempered kicks made the door budge. I turned to Julan, “What about what Sul said about the star being the key?”

“Ahhh, Anni…the answer is dusk!  We’re looking for Azura’s star!  Gods, why didn’t I think of that earlier…We’ll try the door again this evening.” He was giddy.  Julan had been waiting for this moment for a lifetime.  Everything…that he knew and was instilled in him lay behind those locked doors.

“Are you sure you’re ready?” I knew there was little I could do to delay the inevitable.
           “Anni, I’ve been ready for quite sometime.  I’ve been preparing for this day since birth.  I am glad you are here to share it,” he squeezed my hand smiling.  I wished I could be anywhere but here.  I knew in my heart and mind that I was the Nerevarine, though I came to this knowledge with a sad resignation.  I did not want to be an entire people’s savior.  Part of me still hoped that it would be him.  Had he spoken up earlier….maybe the fates would have heard.

“We have hours to burn before the stars come out—what do you want to do?” I asked leaning against a rock near the door.  “Hit a cavern somewhere?  I thought I saw one on the ledge above us…or close…Randy, Rabies, something.”

“No…Anni, you’re thinking of Ranyabi Egg Mine, and unless you want a hand full of eggs or scrib jelly, there’s nothing in there for you,” he said smiling.  “Anni, everything’s going to be different after I walk in there…I just want to wait it out.”

“We could rest,” I said smiling, knowing what that meant.  He smiled and held my hand.  “No, Anni, we could talk though.”

“About?”

“Your life…I know so very little…Who was Kat?  The woman who raised you…was she so awful that you can’t trust?” I knew he was referring to my ardent distaste for his mother.  She was a liar.  It couldn’t be helped.

"I feel strange, Anni."

“Oh, no…no…I told you before she was kindness incarnate, and that her name was Kat Ashzle.  She taught me to read, to dance and to think.”  I closed my eyes thinking of her…her smile and grace, the way she held me and spoke in a low, purring voice.  Kat was my port in the storm, my protector and guardian.  What else could I say about her?  There were no formable words to describe it.  

“Did she teach you sleigh of hand?  Khajiti are famous for it, you know….” I did not like his tone.  Kat Ashzle was my religion, my Azura.  She meant more to many then any of Vvardenfell’s demigods or false prophets.

“I guess,” I said coldly.  “I would watch Kat raid the pantries and probe the coffers when the priests claimed there was no money to pay the servant’s wages.  She always made sure there was enough for me.  I was with her from the time I was born, until…she passed,” I closed my eyes, remembering her scent and warmth.

“How did it happen, Anni?”

“Ai…there was a lump,” I said slowly.  “She was sick for some time.  The priests did tend to her, but in the end…In the end no amount of begging or praying were enough to save her, but gods, I tried…” The memory drained me, though I continued.  “She passed in her sleep as I laid beside her.” It was a horrific memory, waking next to corpse of someone you loved, her body cold and stiff.  No warmth radiating beneath her soft fur.  I paused for a moment, then spoke.  “Part of me died with her that morning.” I said, flatly.  He was wise not to say anything for a time.

“No wonder you’re so fond of the Khajiti,” he pointed out needlessly.  “Is that why you’re always freeing them, Anni?”

“Well, partially, Jules.” You dumbass.  “Also, I’m not a real fan of slavery, as it turns out…  Seems unfair that you can be born in chains without so much as committing a crime.  This place is so backwards…You say your people believe in gods and nature and…what was it?—oh yes, a simple life, yet you hold slaves—you buy and sell your own kind even—.”

“That’s illegal…to sell a Dumner,” he interjected.

“Happens all the time, Jules.  I don’t understand.  The mainland has moved away from slavery, though there are still illegal pockets of it in the backwaters, and the practice is widely condemned…Why is it still here, sanctioned?”

He took a deep breath. “The practice was protected in Vvardenfell and on Mainland. It was a last ditch effort to stop the war. The exception was granted to Dumner in the Armistice of ….I can’t remember the year Anni…but it was granted as a concession because my people saw the use of slaves as their ancient right.”

“Right?” I spat.  “Ancient convenience…more like it.”

“Call it whatever you like, Anni…I’m not going to argue semantics.  Look, I hate it too and once I’m Nerevarine and have defeated Dagoth…well…I’ll look into doing something about slavery.”

“Even if you were to drive us all Outlanders out of Vvardenfell,” I laughed…  “At least slavery is illegal everywhere else in the Empire.”

“Oh…I’m not driving everyone out…” he turned to me smiling.  “I think some ought to stay.”

“Well, we’ll leave it at that…” The afternoon sun was warm on my face.  I closed my eyes leaning against Jules. He was warm and smelled of sand and sea.  I wanted to remember us just like this. We rested for a time…Waking, I looked to the sky, “There’s a star on the horizon.. Is it Azura’s?”

Thief

“Yes…Anni its time,” he said jumping up quickly.  We moved to the heavy doors and opened them with a heave.  Slowly they opened, exposing a dank and dark cavern—not the place of a god, I thought.  The shrine on the coast would have been more appropriate, though somehow this moss covered, little cavern felt more natural.  We stepped in looking ahead, seeing a large statue with hands holding something that sparkled in the dark.  

“I feel strange, Anni.”

“Anticipation?” I asked nervously.

“I…guess…”  We moved slowly towards the alter.  A great voice boomed above. I had heard it before… It was Azura of course…And she directed her discourse to me not Julan.

“Annika Blue. You bear the Moon-and-Star, the ring of Nerevar.  None may deny; you are Nerevar Reborn, the prophesized Incarnate.  You will unite the peoples of Vvardenfell together to drive out Dagoth Ur and expose the false gods.  Beware.  The temple will know you as the enemy.  Ordinators will mark you for death, and the Tribunal Faithful of the Great Houses will hate and fear you.  The doubters of the Tribes will test your strength and doubt your honor.  You will be known.  You will must prepare and be ready.  My disciple Nibani Maeasa will be your guide.” I reached out and grabbed the ring as the image of her hands faded. When she faded into nothingness, I saw a circle form—spirits and ghosts.  They were the failed incarnates, from warchiefs to commoners.  I spoke to all and respectfully took their trinkets, but one story…just one…resonated.

“Welcome, Incarnate.  I am Idrenic Nerothan,” said the specter before me.  “I was not the one.  But I wait and hope…Ask, and I shall tell you my story.” I nodded, she went on. “I lived in the late years of the Tribuante, and behind the scenes, I helped us demoralize, then repel the Akaviri invaders.  I knew nothing of the Nerevarine or Dagoth Ur until I took refuge with the Ashlanders.  I died a fool, trying to loot the ruined Kogoruhn,” she paused. “Here. Take these,” she said handing me a master’s pick and probe.  “Perhaps there’s something in the world left worth stealing.”  Maybe. But it was not in this cave.

Slowly I walked out of the cavern, toying with the ring on my finger.    I twisted it thinking of the mission ahead.  Then suddenly I remembered….

“Julan!”

Failed Incarnates