Chapter 9

Chapter 9:  Anais

Ministry of Truth

Day 96

“Caius,” I said smiling upon my return to Balmora, “looks like your Fast Eddie was right.”

“Annika, I am glad you’re cured, but I have some news.  I’ve been recalled to the Imperial City.  You’re being promoted to Operative,” he uttered, somewhat sadly.

“Why?”  This mission was difficult enough without losing my guide.  I had been told what to do for so long that I couldn’t imagine it any other way.

“Some internal politics.  Concern about my sugar use, I suppose.  My wife is also ailing, so going back is not unwelcome. I have a home outside the Imperial City in a small fishing village.  It will be good to get back to a simpler life.”

“Get back to your wife” I said probing.  “You’ve mentioned her before.  I know you miss her greatly.  Tell me about her, about your wife in Cyrodill.”

“Anais,” he said softly. I felt a blow.

“What did you say her name was?” I stuttered. That named carried a special magic.

“Anais,” Casius stared curiously.  “Annika, what is it?  You look as if you’ve seen a ghost…Here sit down.” He motioned to the chair.  “Tell me, why would you want to know about that?” he asked as his nature was naturally suspicious.

Scrambling, I spit out the first thing that came to mind. “I’m just curious.”

“Well Annika, I suppose it couldn’t harm anyone telling you.  I met my wife Anais—.” I cut him off, as he had hesitated too, coming up with a good lie, I suppose.  I would catch him now.  Perhaps he wanted to be caught.

"Describe her."

“Describe her.”

“Long blonde hair—bit of gray now. With eyes like the sea after a storm.” I must have jumped, or in some way startled, for he stopped for a moment and reached out to me... “Annika?”

“Where is she from!?!”  I had been hearing that phrase since I was a child.  ‘Your mother had eyes like the sea after the storm.’

“The Imperial City—though in truth…” He hesitated, a look of fright crossed over his brow. “Annika, I’m not sure—“

“Tell me, Caius…” my voice guttural.

“She had fled the city—sometime before we met...”

My mind went blank.  Children.  “Do you have children?”  

“Yes…two…Though she had a child—earlier,” he spoke hesitantly.

“Tell me Cosades,” I said shaking.  “Tell me where that child was born.”  We stared at each other for what must have been an eternity.  I could see his chest rise and fall—he knew.

“Annika…”

“Tell me!  Tell me everything….” I shouted in a passion. I would have ended his sugar habit right then had he not.  Cosades knew at that moment who I was.  Now he was going to tell me.

“Anni,” Cosades said taking a deep breath, “you were born in Chorrol?”

“I was born on the abbey grounds.  To a frightened woman named Anais who had eyes like the sea after a storm.” I spat.

“Anni, knowledge of this could cost you your life—perhaps mine as well. Maybe…Well…maybe things are better left as they are—”

“I’ll take my chances,” I said flatly.

“Well…If you’re sure,” he said, eyes full of concern…and something else; was it compassion? He continued, “My wife…..Anais Marguerite was one of Uriel Septim’s many mistresses—a mere palace servant.  After a time, Empress Caula found out that Uriel favored Anais and that she was pregnant with the Emperor’s bastard.  In a rage, she ordered Anais’s death.  In truth, I believe the Empress feared a challenge for succession, though what threat a poor serving girl would have posed—.” He paused for a second,  “Anyway, the Caula had been rumored to kill off other bastards, so Anais did not take a chance of staying in the city.”

“Why Chorrol?”

“I’m not sure.  I don’t think there as any rhyme or reason to her decision.  She was scared.  You see, Annika, the odds were against your mother.  Uriel would not have challenged the mother of his two legitimate sons.  Anais had no choice—she fled the Imperial City and headed west.  She reached an abbey outside of Chorrol and gave birth to a girl—no threat to Empress or her precious sons.”

“Why did she leave me?” I asked this in a hushed tone; much like a child. I had wanted this answer all my life.

“Are you so sure it’s you, sera?”  He asked kindly.  I knew it in my blood.

“Answer me!”

“She was afraid she would be found out.  You see her beauty was your mother’s undoing.  Many people began asking about the young woman who gave birth to child on the abbey grounds.  Inquiries were being made.  Anais knew her child would have a chance if…if she let her go.”  I sat motionless and stared at the wall for minutes; maybe hours…I wasn’t sure.

“But why was I spared?  Sent to Vvardenfell?” It would have suit the Empress’s purpose had served my sentence.  The gallows made more sense than the conditional release I had been handed.

“Perhaps to make sure you lived, though I’m sure the Empress had nothing to do with that decision.  A hidden bastard—even if it’s a girl—is better than no heir at all.”

“So do you think Uriel knew?”

“Maybe, though its more likely one of his advisers found out. It was not hard to trace her.”

“Trace her?  What are you saying, Cosades?”

“Anni, I fell in love with your mother while I was tracking her, for the Emperor’s adviser Jauffre Kobay.  In truth I helped her along the way, though she was quite unaware.  Jauffre knew I was with your mother shortly after your birth…”

“Why did they not hunt you?”

“I was able to make your mother disappear.  Anais ceased to exist after your birth.  Once it was reported that you had been born a girl, Jauffre was not so interested.  There was another bastard boy born—your half brother—and hidden away in another monastery.”

“What of the Empress?”  This sounded too incredible to believe.  “Why did she not track…me?”

“Because Caula never knew you lived.  The Empress was left under the impression that Anais died somewhere along the journey west.  She was satisfied with the explanation, and soon she had another son to help her forget.”

“How convenient for her,” I said bitterly.

“Don’t waste effort on impotent anger, Anni.  What’s done is done.”

“If you knew…what it was like, what hell I’ve been through…perhaps, you wouldn’t be so dismissive,” I choked. Though in my heart, I knew he was right; to seek revenge was to shadow box.  Though, a thought had crossed my mind—had I been watched the entire time?  If so, why didn’t some come and save me sooner? I then looked to Caius, “Did anyone watch over me?”

“Anni, I’m not sure.  I didn’t know who you were when you first walked through that door—though.”

“Though what?”

“The more I knew you, the more I suspected.  Annika, I know the answer you want and I can’t give it to you.  I have no idea why they would let Uriel Septim’s bastard rot in an Imperial Prison for over two years.  I just don’t know.”

“Then tell me this,” I said looking up at him, “was she happy?  Did you make her happy?”

Caius paused and walked over to me.  “Yes,” he said, putting his callused hand on my shoulder, “we were happy for a time.  Then I got sent to this hell hole, about three years ago.”

“Did she ever…” I paused.  I wasn’t sure if I wanted the answer.

“She did, Anni…she thought of you often—though she never spoke of it.  I would see her staring off into space, holding one of our children, and I knew…I knew she was thinking of you.”

I closed my eyes in relief.  His words were a balm.  “Thank you—for telling,” I said, choking on my words.  “For taking the risk.” I leaned over and kissed him softly.

“Anni, there is one favor I’d ask…Mehra is in trouble.  She needs my help and I’m unable to give it to her—I am leaving on the morrow and do not expect to return. She is in grave danger—.”

“I will help her Caius,” I said.

“If you find her, and she’s still alive, give her this.”  He handed me a sealed envelope.  “It means a great deal to me.”

“I will help her, and when this is all over....I will find you—and my mother.”

“Take the Talos Bridge from the Imperial City to the town Weye. Look for us there. I hope to see you again, Annika Blue.”  Our eyes met and knew he meant what he said.
“You will.”

Day 98

“Jules?” I said as I heard his familiar footfall in the doorway. It was late and I was groggy—over come by recent events, I had spent an emotional evening crying myself to sleep in a tear stained pillow.

“You know it’s me, Anni…” He grinned, “Who else would it be?”

“How did it go?” I said, forcing myself to make idle conversation.

“We made a decent amount of money, and Hassour, helped with finding a good price….All in all about 3000 septims.” We had accumulated quite a stock pile of weapons and goods and had to get rid of them as they had become a tripping hazard.  “Look, I took the liberty of purchasing a little shack in Ald-ruhn, I figure it might come in handy someday.”

“Good idea.”  I paused for a second then jumped on the first thing that came to mind—Mehra.  “You were right about Mehra,” I started.  I could not bring myself to tell him of anything else…not yet. I continued, “According to Cosades she’s in trouble.  You up to another trip to Vivec?”

“Mehra?  Of course, we’ll head to Vivec directly.”

“Julan,” I commanded sternly, “you will have to listen to me and do exactly what I say.  I’m making no plans of sacrificing myself or you for her…I know that sounds harsh, but…”

“That’s just the way it is,” he grimaced.  “I know, Annika.  But you’ll do all you can?”

“Of course…We’ll stop by her home, though I doubt she’s there, but perhaps she’s left something telling me where she is.”  We took the silt strider immediately.  A plan was forming in my mind, though obviously much would depend on where she was placed.  We arrived in Vivec, and discreetly make our way through the Hall of Wisdom.  My instinct was right; Mehra was not in the library or in her room.  A note on her bureau confirmed my worst fears—Mehra was being held in the Ministry of Truth.  She left instruction that I was to see a sympathetic guard, Alvela Saram, outside the ministry and to bring Divine Intervention scrolls.  I turned to Jules and told him this.

Imperial Dungeon

“They got her?  Oh this is horrible!  You have no idea what they do—.”

“Really?” I asked incredulously, “Jules, in case you forgotten, I’ve been in an Imperial dungeon before…Now, we’re going to get her, but we have to keep a cool head.  You can follow my lead or get us both killed—and that’s what it will be as I refuse to go back to prison.”  We flew silently up to the Ministry of Truth using some silly named potion; the Ministry looked like a strange egg suspended in the sky.  The only way you could reach it was through levitation.  “Damn,” I spat through clenched teeth.  “This is going to be more difficult than I had anticipated.  Hang back Jules, I think that’s Alvela Saram, Mehra’s friend.”

“Alvela,” I started.

“I’m sorry.  No one allowed into Ministry,” she said curtly, then paused and looked at me guardedly. “But wait, you’re not here to visit anyone, are you,” she uttered.

“You know why I’m here.”

“Mehra said you would come,” Alvela whispered cautiously, looking over her shoulder.  “I’ll just say you subdued me with magic and stole my key.”

“That’s good of you.  You must be close to her if you’re willing to risk so much.”

“Some of us are sympathetic to the Dissident priest,” she started, “But I warn you, kill an Ordinator, and you’ll lose that sympathy.  Now get going…”

“Thank you, sera.” Julan said and nodded.  “You take terrible risks.”  Alvela said nothing as we made our way in.

“Julan, throw this on.  It’s a shadow cloak I got from Muddy—got two.  They’re invaluable.  Stay close and I will be the one who takes the keys.” Julan was good to his word, he hung back as I searched the guard’s chambers for a key.  Mehra was not easy to find, the caverns leading to her cell were a maze, though when I arrived, she was not surprised to see me.

“I knew Caius would help!” she sounded so happy.   I did not enlighten her as to Caius’s recall—I figured that could wait—we had to get out now. “Annika, I have a plan.  We’ll use the divine intervention scrolls and will travel separately to Holamayan, home of the Dissident Priests.” Clearly she had thought this out.  I admired her confidence.  She knew someone would be along to rescue her.

“How do I get there?”

“Go to the East Docks of Ebonheart and see Hateria.  Tell her you want to go fishing.”

“Fishing?” asked Jules skeptically.

“Yes, sera.  She’ll know what that means and will bring you to Holamayan.  We can discuss the lost prophecies there.”

“Fine.  Let’s get out of here,” I said.  “I hope to see you soon, Mehra.”  Her plan worked brilliantly, by dawn Jules and I were on a boat to Holamayan.

“It looks to be long ride,” said Jules quietly.

“That’s good, sera, for we have much to discuss.  First I should tell you that Cosades has been recalled.”

“That’s disturbing,” he said carelessly.

“Not nearly as disturbing as what I’m about to tell you….Julan, I found out who my parents are.  Cosades told me.”

Julan looked at me skeptically.  “Let me guess, Cosades is your long lost father.”

“No, not quite,” I uttered.

Sitting up, Julan looked a me quizzically. “Who is it, then?”

I took a deep breath.  “Uriel Septim.”

“Guarshit!” Julan said before he could stop himself.  I raised an eyebrow. “Anni, are you sure?” He cleared his throat.  “I mean Uriel Septim?  This just sounds…well, inconceivable.”

“Anymore so then a black kargouti sent by Azura leading your mother to a pile of rocks?” I shot back.

“No.  I suppose not,” he paused.  “It’s just astonishing.  My lover is an heir to the thrown!”

Holamayan

“I’m not sure that’s entirely the case, Julan.” I then lit a hack lo and recounted the sad story of Anais Marguerite.  “In the end, she was the real victim in all this.”

“I not surprised.  I mean it’s shocking, but from what I know of the Septims…well its—.”

“A common occurrence,” I said completing his thought.  “Julan, I’m not sure you’ll want to go on with me, for once my cover is blown you and I will be out in the open.  All eyes will be on us.  The Emperor, Empress and any enemies I’ve made along the way.”

“Anni,” Julan said softly, “when I said I loved you…I threw my lot in with you—I have committed fully.  That’s why I waited so long.  I knew I was sure then, and I am still sure.  Regardless of who you are or where you came from, I love you—that will not change.”   

“You sacrifice much,” I said looking over at him.

“No more than you.” He then laughed pulling me on his lap, “Well sera, at least I’m sure of one thing…”

“What?” I asked cautiously.

He smiled wickedly and moved his hand up my thigh, “You’re not my third cousin once removed…”

Day 101 

“It would appear that we are here,” I said as I heard the boat pull into a single dock.  The island looked barren, save a few trees. “Did you get some sleep?”

           “Some,” he said groggily, looking around, “You know, Anni, this place feels special somehow….protected, as if nothing bad could happen here.” Hateria informed us doors to Holamayan only opened every twelve hours, so in a sense it was secure.  Though I knew there was no such place in Vvardenfell or Oblivion, where nothing bad could happen to you.

           “Something could I’m sure,” I answered back skeptically.

           “You always think there’s someone out to get you,” he muttered crisply.

           “Yes,” I said simply, “and that’s why I’m still alive today.”  He muttered slightly then we walked up a hill to a large, curved iron door.  I knew he wanted to say more, but I could tell he was tired and exhaustion got the better of tongue. Maybe this place was blessed.  

          “Well it seems the door won’t open for at least another ten hours or so, dusk I think…Let’s catch up on some sleep.  I’ll get the bags.”

Temple

           “We just need one, sera.” He smiled.  We woke and found something to eat.  I then approached the opening to Holamayan.  It would appear the shrine was built into the island itself.  We then entered the great hall; it was simple, yet striking.

          “Mehra,” I said walking into the library, knowing immediately where I could find her. “I’m glad you made it safely, though I should tell you that Caius has been recalled.” She looked distraught. Immediately I felt the hair rise on my back.  I felt defensive and protective of my mother, a woman who I had never known.  I wondered what the nature of Mehra’s and Cosades relationship was.  She said they were close, I wondered how close.  

            “I am sorry he is gone…he was a good friend and confidant.  I was hoping he might help us.  Now he’s gone…” she said haltingly, pausing then looking away slightly.  “I don’t know what to think.”

            “We will move on without him,” Jules interceded coldly..

           “Mehra, Casius gave me this and asked that I deliver to you.”  I paused staring; my eyes burning a hole through her. “You said you had access to the lost prophecies?”

            “Master Barelo, can assist you with that.  If you’ll excuse me, sera, I…I have some things I must do,” Mehra said clutching the letter, clearly distressed.  At that moment I knew; they were more than friends.

             “Annika,” Barelo spoke, focusing my thoughts and gaze away from Mehra, “I have the information Nibani Maesa is looking for.  I have reviewed the Apocrypha and have found two passages of particular interest.”  He then went over the passages that clearly indicated that the Incarnate was an Outlander.  I looked over at Julan, standing stoically against a bookshelf, his eyes an impassive mask.  Barelo went on, “The Lost Prophecy and The Seven Curses may offer additional insights into the riddles surrounding the coming Incarnate,” he paused and looked over the rim of his spectacles, “we also have prepared a document for you called Kagrenac’s Tools.  This will explain the terrible secret that the Temple conceals about the true history of the Tribunal and the corrupt nature of their divine powers.”

            “We have time, now Barelo. Tell me about it.  Who was Kagrenac?”

            “The story starts beneath the Red Mountain.”  Barelo began, telling me the story like an elderly man would tell to his grandchildren.  “The Dwemer miners discovered a great magical stone.  Kagrenac, High Priest and Magecrafter of the ancient Dwemer, determined that this magical stone was none other than the heart of the dead god Lorkhan, who had been cast down under the depths of the Red Mountian by the other gods for all the mischief he had created in the mortal world.  Determined to use the heart’s powers to create a new god for the benefit of the Dwemer, Kagrenac forged three great enchanted weapons.  Wraithguard was an enchanted gauntlet designed to protect the wearer from destruction when tapping into the heart’s power.    Sunder was a hammer enchanted to strike the heart and produce the exact volume and quality of power desired.  Keening was the blade used to flay and focus the power that rises from the heart.”

          “I know from Julan that the Tribunal somehow got a hold of tools and broke an oath doing so.”

          “And killed Nerevar,” Julan added.

Barelo, Mehra and Julan

          “Yes, and killed Nevevar, but how does Dagoth Ur fit into all of this?" I never quite understood his role or that of the Sixth House.

          “Well—.” Both Julan and Barelo started at the same time.  Barelo turned to Julan and Julan bowed out of respect, indicating that Barelo should continue with the tale, then walked away.  Barelo continued, “Dagoth Ur had fought with Lord Nerevar against Dwemer in order to destroy whatever creature the Dwemer were making.  After Dumac had died, Lord Nerevar and Lord Dagoth retrieved the tools and were not sure what to do with them.  Nerevar asked Dagoth Ur to guard the tools while he went to consult with his counselors, Lord Vivec, Vivec’s brother Sotha Sil and  Lady Almalexia about the fate of Kagrenac’s tools.  While Nerevar was gone, Dagoth was tempted by the tools, after all who would deny the chance of becoming immortal?” Barelo asked rhetorically.  “When Nerevar returned, Dagoth refused to yield the tools to him and Nerevar, along with the Tribunal, fought Dagoth Ur.  Lord Dagoth lost the battle, was mortally wounded and driven off.  Nerevar and his counselors, the Tribunal, decided to take tools for safekeeping, swearing never to use them, though when Nerevar died, or was murdered, the Tribunal went back on their word, using the tools to elevate themselves to gods.”

          “So anyone using the tools can become a god?” I asked.

          “Technically, but remember Annika, Kagrenac’s tools are cursed.  Stealing power from the heart of a god is a terrible sin and folly; their use can only lead to disaster.”     I nodded like a child transfixed.  “Thank you Barelo,” I stood rising, “Thank you for this.”   I looked off across the room and saw Julan muttering to himself.  I felt a pit growing in my stomach.  Slowly, I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulders “Jules, since we’re here for several hours, we—.”

           He cut me off immediately, his voice indignant. “Looks like the lost prophecies were a big waste of time, doesn’t it?”

         “Why do you say that?” I asked though I knew, I was just curious how he would spin it.

         “Well, I was hoping to get more out of them,” he sighed, “but it looks like they were lost for a reason.  Just more stupid poetry that makes no sense.”  He never spoke of books or poetry like this.  Something was eating him and I knew what it was. His life rested on the belief that he was the Incarnate—these prophecies challenged the very purpose of his existence.

         “Are you saying this because they claim the Nerevarine will be an Outlander?”

         “Oh who knows what they claim,” he said with false sense of resignation, “They’re prophecies, it’s their job to be vague about everything.”

         “Really?  They sounded clear enough to me.” I said this knowing I was dabbling with fire, but Julan had to prepare himself should there be some sort of truth to these lost prophesies.

         “Well, that’s just stupid nonsense,” he spat.  “Of course the Incarnate isn’t going to be an Outlander.” He then turned to me angrily, “And you shouldn’t forget what we’re doing here—you’re only pretending to be the Nerevarine to help me—we agreed to that!” Julan paused for a minute and lowered his voice though it sounded just as menacing, “I’m sure all this attention is flattering to you, but just keep in mind what’s important, ok?”

         “Flattered?” I said knowing I would deny it, lying to him and myself. I continued, “I asked for none of this and I’ve said that to you from the beginning.  You can take those prophecies, being the Nerevarine and shove them up your—.”

          “Look,” he bellowed. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, alright?”  We were starting a scene. I saw the strange looks from the other acolytes.

          “Fine.” I stalked off. He called after me.

          “Annika, this is a really sacred place.  Try to behave yourself, won’t you?”  I shot Julan a look of disgust.  I never thought he’d stoop to humiliation, even in anger.  It was a long ten hours waiting for that door to open.  We spent our time on opposite ends of Holamayan.  I was enraged by Julan’s insecurity and weakness.  I knew he saw me as competition and I hated him for that—and though I would never admit it, I now understood why.  If somehow, I actually was to be the Nerevarine, it would take everything he had.  While the hours crawled on, I spent time reading the report on Kagrenac, the Dwemer and failed god-maker.  Finally, as dusk approached I heard the sound of the doors rising.  I turned and saw Julan behind me keeping his distance, his eyes refusing to meet mine.

          “Were going back to see Nibani,” I spat, walking out of Holamayan.  “Keep up and shut up.”

          “Don’t threaten me Annika! Love or not, you will not speak to me that way!”

          “I would say ‘not’ at this point.”

         “Fine.  Have it your way,” he called me bitch under his breath, but loud enough so he knew I would hear it. I spun around and shoved him.

          “You dare embarrass me like that?” I screamed.  “In front of all those people?  To call me a thief—.”

          “You’re angry that I called you what you are? Don’t act so precious,” he sneered. I slapped him.

          You will not put your hands on me!”  Julan threw me on the ground and we struggled until he pinned me.  His breath was hot on my face.  “Listen to me…You will not take everything I am.  I will not allow it!”  He tore my shirt as we struggled.  I could feel him getting hard.

          “You going to make this rape, Jules?”  He stopped then lifted me and threw me against wall of Holamayan.

.          “I would rather fuck a guar.” The rest of the trip was spent in silence.